Sunday, 6 June 2010

A sleepy town in the hills

Life here ticks on in it's usual chaotic fashion, lurching from one thing to another.So firstly me, I've got bronchitis and feel frightful, And it's definitely one of the times in my life that I wish I wasn't so much of a lady and knew how to do a throat curdling spit! I probably need a course of antibiotics, but just cause I work in a doctors surgery doesn't mean I can easily go to my own doc! But it will make going to work an interesting experience tomorrow coughing my guts up!

Probably too much information in that paragraph!

Moving on, my dog is having an identity crisis, and has become an Anteater...... Yesterday sitting in the sunshine with me as an ant walked past her nose a tongue would pop out of her mouth and the ant vacuumed up. Felt a bit like the song about the old lady that swallowed a fly form my childhood.

Youngest son continues to be a major worry. He ended up in hospital on Friday night, as a supposed friend of his attacked him with a knuckle duster so splitting his skull. Which then had to be glued back together, and he was sent home after an ECG as his heart had gone into overdrive.

But was that the shock of the attack, or was that whatever he'd been taking that night, and the jury is still out on that one.

We live in a sleepy little country town surrounded by hills, with a few cities a drive away. So unless anyone has money to travel the young people are stuck inside this town. Which means they are bored and experiment with drugs a lot. None more so than my son.

You may remember last year he was in and out of hospital, as he had an adverse reaction to dope, which means he can never smoke it again. So he, like his mates has moved on. In actual fact, he isn't as bad as his mates who seem to be off their faces most of the time. Whereas he only does them at the weekends, not that, that makes it any better.

The Government have just classified the youth drug of choice, Mcat into a class B drug. It was widely available and cheap. It was making kids ill, with paranoia, liver problems and stomach issues. But at least it was pure. Now it's illegal it's been cut with silicone, to name one substance. This has the effect of making the stomach swell to stop them needing fluid so the problems are being made worse as kidney issues and dehydration are now happening.

What is really frightening is that as soon as Mcat was unavailable a new product flies into the country from China ( Mcat comes from there) So another new designer drug is readily available from the internet, and no-one knows what the consequences of taking any of these drugs will be, either short or long term. But any drug that originates in garden fertiliser as Mcat does, is not designed for beautiful young bodies.

Of course the simplistic answer is to educate youth about the dangers and they won't do it...right!

We live in a culture where youth enjoy the feeling of getting off their faces, whether with drugs or alcohol or both. It is a life choice for so many. I ask my son why he doesn't just walk away, he's a bright lad, he knows how many beans make five.

But he feels trapped, if he doesn't get off his face as ALL the people who knows do in the town, then the only way to avoid it is to stay in at night (and he knows an awful lot of people, and when he tells me who some of them are, I know that their parents don't know about what they are doing). That is a choice he's actively done now during the week, but the lure of Friday/Saturday night out is very strong.

However he also appreciates that he is damaging his body and he needs to get seriously fit if he's going to get in the army in January. So the pressure is on him big time and it's a dreadful dilemma.(He can't join up until then, due to being in prison for something he did under the influence of drink and drugs last year)

I do not condone his behaviour at all. But I do understand the pressures he's under. He longs to escape into the discipline of the army, he thinks it's a way to make good all the horrors of the last couple of years. He has to keep his nose clean till then. Which he is doing his best to do, but isn't been helped by other young men off their faces, coming out for the evening with a knuckle dusters in their pocket. This particular young man comes from as respectable a family as my son does.

These drugs are damaging our young people. So maybe that's all part of the Chinese plan, who needs to fight to take over a country when the youth are all lying in the gutters stoned and damaged on drugs supplied by them.

I also wonder if part of the problem isn't the endless knee jerk reaction from Governments to such things as Mcat,especially as the drugs advisory council didn't want Mcat made into a class B drug so soon, as they didn't think there was enough evidence available.

The thing I ponder is, does anyone in the Government actually talk to anyone my sons age, and try and understand what and why they are doing what they are doing. Why there is this need to get off their faces as fast as possible by whatever means around. When I receive drugs awareness advice it's patently been written by people who do care passionately about helping kids, but who actually don't understand the drivers that are making our youth so disaffected.

I have never done drugs, I enjoy Champagne too much! But I admit I was horrified recently when I was told by a friend that she was finding it difficult to settle into a new area as everyone her age is smoking dope. On top of this another person told me about a neighbouring town to my friends where the drug of choice is coke amongst people my age.

What hope have the youth, what role model.

It will be happening in your home town, even if you don't know of any actual examples. This sleepy town I live in is only the tip of the iceberg.

So whilst I may worry about saving the planet and being greener with my recycling, maybe I need to start closer to home and worry about what is happening in the Western world to our young people.

Another post that's been allowed a free will and not gone where I thought it would!


BenefitScroungingScum said...

I hope you're feeling better very soon-please try to get a GP appointment for those antibiotics?!

You're so right about small towns, it's all hidden under the surface but perhaps more of a problem for it. Is there anywhere he could go over the summer to do some voluntary work, maybe something like dry stone walling-hard physical work away from his immediate environment type thing? I understand these pressures too, I think adult society has done too good a job of protecting our children & have effectively prevented them from finding safe ways to rebel, so they turn to drink and drugs as the only escape.

Hope you are both doing better soon, love & hugs BG Xx

Mel said...

And down the road from us--unbeknownst to us--meth manufacturing and distributing.

Oh, just one of many. It's happening in the city as well. One of those things you can do in your basement if you don't mind the potential of blowing up your house and your neighbors....or poisoning everyone in the household. *sigh*

Yup, it's a sleep litle town with a small population. But it does well with youth activities for the highschool, middleschool kiddos. When it comes to 20 year olds? Notsomuch. I think we hope by then, the value's stuck. Dunno.

Smalltown, big town--it's everywhere. *sigh*
And it creates wreckage all over the place, not just in the life of the using person. But you know that as well as I do.

Feel better soon, darnitall. It's lovely spring weather and I can hear a walk calling you! :-)

Merry ME said...

I have to agree with M - it's everywhere. I think I could go on, but I'll stop before I get started.

I do hope you're feeling better soon. I'm beginning to think this bronchitis crap is the unspoken about cousin to H1N1. People I know in all kind of different places are getting it.

Maybe the answer for small town F/S nites is old-fashioned contests, starting with snot spitting. Just think of how much fun the kids would have with that! I may be on to something!

I'm not sure what to say about an ant-eating dog!

Lady in red said...


I would love to say I understand how you feel but my problems with my sons (#1 & #3) are different and in a way very minor compared to yours.

None of my boys have tried drugs (for which I am extremely grateful) but I still worry about their futures and know that no matter what I say or do they will still continue to make their own mistakes. It is their life and although I fret and try to steer them in the right direction all I can do is stand back and watch them and be there to pick them up when they fall yet again.

#2 son I don't worry about he has an old head on young shoulders and #4 is yet to reach the stage where I need to worry about him......he is too busy being a real boy doing all the things boys did in Enid Blyton's books.

I do vividly remember when your so was ill last year and can't belief that a year has passed by. It must be so painful for you to see him punishing his body this way.

hugs as always

AkasaWolfSong said...

All I can say is holding you close in my thoughts and prayers...

I have had that nasty bronchitis but with antibiotics for almost two months isn't any fun at all! Make sure you get in right away and nip it in the bud, if that is possible...sometimes I think it is the government releasing all these toxins in the air we pick up. OY VEH!

Do take care Byrd!

Robyn said...

I hope you recover soon from your bronchitis and get to have some time away from work to rest.

I'm sorry to read about your son's choice of recreation.
You're a lovely Mum to be son very understanding.
Try not to worry and keep communicating with him... hopefully he will grow out of this and not make it a lifestyle.

take care
best wishes

trousers said...

Get well soon.

I read this post and while I know how concerned you are, your views on this - your son and the bigger picture relating to drugs etc - come across as very level headed. x

TALON said...

I hope you feel better soon and get yourself some antibiotics to combat that nasty bronchitis!

I'm sorry about your son. I hope his head wound knocks a little sense into him. It seems so tragic that the youth of today seem so directionless and so unhappy. There were drugs around when I was growing up, but few partook as there was so much fear around the idea of getting high and the damage drugs would do. Now it seems that the youth want to escape the present. It's like they don't believe that there's a future worth hanging around for. It's terribly sad. I hope your son does keep clean enough to join the military so he can focus on things that will bring him so much more than a weekend high.

Beatnheart said...

Man oh man what a problem....I don’t think you can lecture kids on what to do...they are going to experiment and if they are lucky they will survive it all and come out on top...He needs a hobby, passion or girlfriend! Most definitely something that will take his mind off doing, working on cars, motorcycles, making something!! Where does he get his money...?? are you giving it to him...does he have a job..does he pay you rent and food money? If he has a job and his money is all his own he’ll have enough to buy drugs.. How is he getting them...Byrd, are you enabling him? I know that you know what to do...that is your profession so I know you know how to handle this or not... My friends 22 year old son just died from drugs...Found alone in bed from an accidental od...Don’t let this happen to your family...sorry, I went on too long...I just want you to be content and happy..

Lori ann said...

I hope you'll feel better soon, the stress of your son is probably not helping at all.

drugs in one form or another have been around since the beginning of time. i know new ones keep being created, several even with each generation. and i know too they cross all borders, genders, economic, drugs are everywhere.

still, everyone is not doing it. even among our kids. and even if "all" their friends are doing it, there are still some that are not. what about being a leader and saying no? suddenly there are new friends, the ones that say no too.

I've seen alot having 5 children, my last now almost out of her teens. We are living in an area that on the surface looks like paradise, but in fact we have one of the worst substance abuse problems in the nation.

we went through this with my oldest, addiction, denial, jail, rehab. all along we heard we didn't understand how hard it was, all of Santa Barbara was using.

She's a few years past this now. She has friends that are drug and alcohol free, and they had been there all along. But she wasn't ready to see them. Don't make excuses for him Mandy. It is a choice. Be strong because you love him and it's the right thing to do.

sending lots of support and love,

Lori ann said...

i came back to apologize, i'm sorry for saying too much, i didn't have the right. i know we all do the best we can and i'm sure of it that you are.
i got carried away because for many reasons, this is a subject too close to my heart.
xxx lori

Manchester Lass, Now and Then said...

Hope you are soon feeling much better♥ January will be here before we know it, in the meantime I hope your DS has the strength and courage to avoid his so called friends over the next few months, at the end of the day the choice is his. Take good care Mandy and sending you special thoughts xx Linda

Pam said...

Hope you feel better soon Mandy, and know that it's good to get that all out. What's with Trix!! She'll be growing quills next. The drug question - enormous!Take away drugs, alcohol and guns and the world would be a lot better place. However, as someone pointed out to me, there's always been and always will be knives. I guess the army encourages that wild side. Can't see us as a species fighting battles throwing marshmallows.It's all too complicated for me.Much love to you.xx

Angela said...

Mandy, your post makes me sad. I wish I could send Alex some new ideas about himself. Why is this peer pressure so hard - I don`t understand it. We are all sending love and good thoughts!!!

Zan said...

I live in a sleepy little village too. It's been known as the suicide village, because there's no way to go. If you can't drive you're stuck. The bus passes by once a day.
First time in the pub with a friend I was offered drugs. All the young ones do it. Here it's coke.
It's scary.. it's everywhere.
Sorry you have to deal with it so close to home though. That's a tough one.
Hope you are feeling better soon!

miss*R said...

drugs frighten me. I never took them either when I was a teen. strongest thing i ever took was valium on prescription when I had cancer..
the drugs of today are a worry.. it is the same here.. except at the moment it is ice & heroin... very, very scary. marihuana(sp?) is lace with arsenic to make it stronger and ground up light globes among other things...

I agree with you on the recycling & composting, saving the planet thing.. - maybe we should be looking at just what is happening in society.. drugs have destroyed lives.. one of my friends who is nearly 60 has inherited 3 grandchildren at the ages of 1, 3 & 7 [the children of her son who is a heroin addict as is the mother] - things like this just want to make me put my head in the sand :(
sending much love as always, I hope it helps you feel a little better

nitebyrd said...

I can so sympathize with you and understand the problem with your son and drugs. They know we disapprove and they know the problems - health, social, work related, that drugs cause but sometimes they feel they HAVE to do them. It's depressing and frightening.

CheekyDani said...

My gosh. I live such a sheltered life in so many ways. And was a remarkably good teenager considering! I guess I was lucky enough to never really enjoy drugs - like you Champagne is my drug of choice! But what a challenge for the kids - and parents - and wider community of today.

I read an article the other day about a top London private school which has produced loads of celebrities. Numerous kids were off their face on coke and other various drugs at their end of school prom, a few of them ended up in hospital because of the quantity they took added to alcohol. The school had no choice but to expel and suspend some of them - and this jeopardised their A levels and of course their future. I was actually shocked, but as I said, I live a sheltered life in this regard. It did make me wonder, like you said, where things will end up...