Saturday, 27 March 2010

Early morning grumpy old woman

So enough loveliness already, time to get in touch with the other side.... The grumpy old woman side! Here in the UK we have two wonderful TV programmes called weirdly, Grumpy Old Women and Grumpy Old Men. They are incredibly funny observations on life.

I think we reach a certain age when we will no longer put up with stupidity and can become quite intolerant of what we perceive to be others foibles. Which of course is true of everyone, but I think we reach a certain age that have no problem being outspoken about these perceptions.

Recently some have been annoying the hell out of me. And because I'm only a while away from being beyond traditional middle age, in that I'll be 56 soon I decided it was time to let off some steam!

So where shall I start..... As you know I recently took knitting back up, which has helped my intolerance amazingly in that I knit as I watch the box, but I've run out of wool. Which has meant that I've actually being forced to watch the adverts recently, as there are only so many hot drinks I can make in the breaks, without risking incontinence later in the night!

Currently in the UK we have a lot of adverts for face creams, hair stuff, anything to make us all more beautiful.... And when you watch these batch of ads, written in faint writing on the bottom of the screen is the percentage of women who think this is a miracle product. As in, 80% of women tested thought, blah blah out of 156. The numbers tested are infinitesimally small, but obviously if these 80% thought it was a wondrous shampoo, then it follows that we all will to.

This is annoying enough, but right now there is one advert I want to throw one of the many hot drinks at. Apparently 77% of women tested feel sexier if their underarms were more beautiful...... What the .... Underarms sexy. Bloody hell what is the world coming to, another place to make young women neurotic about not being perfect.

How are we going to know if we have sexy pits. What makes something sexy? And is it the right place to start trying to make it sexy? Are women going to be going around asking do my pits look sexy? What will constitute sexy, shaved/ hairy/ deodorised/ not. Oh please give me a break. We do not need another admans subversive message to sell whatever the product is, by making us all feel inadequate about another bit of our bodies. I shave my armpits cause I prefer it that way, I use deodorant because I prefer it that way. I do not think about that part of my body the rest of the day.

Am I missing something here, maybe it's because I'm an old crone that of course I wouldn't have sexy pits, or because I'm not in a relationship and this is all sour grapes on my part..... If that's so then I'm really happy to be where I am.

And don't even get me started on the mascara adverts, that all say lash extensions have been used. They are not selling what the product will look like then are they if all the models are wearing fake lashes....

Bah Humbug!

So moving onto a completely different grumpieness..... blogging!

I've been blogging for three years now and I understood that there was an unspoken code of behaviour. In that, if you left a comment on a new/different blog that the person would get back to you at least once to check you out. This is how blogging relationships start taking that risk in potential new connections. So why isn't it happening? I have recently being leaving comments in all sorts of places and the majority of people haven't done me the courtesy of bothering to come by and leave me a comment.

Now okay I could be on an unknown hit list of people that you shouldn't bother with! But I don't really think that's true as the recent blog friends I've made haven't put up closd signs to me on their blog windows, so I sneak home without contacting them and vice versa.

I don't know whether this is to do with the ubiquitous Followers system that means once someone has signed up for that they don't have to bother with you again.Or that it stops people being interested in meeting new people.

I know that a great many people only pass through our lives for a short time here.There are also those who stay the course and become real friends. There are the people who used to blog as often as me, who now only do it a couple of times a month. All these are fine I don't have a problem with any of these. Although I do sometimes wonder why someone who has commented a lot suddenly falls of the radar. No what I'm talking about are the people who have never met me before and somehow I've ended up on their blog, where I read a post leave a comment and then am deafened by the silence that follows.

If people don't do that initial reaching out then blogging will stultify. There are millions of us out there, we blog for a reason. Usually because we want to reach out to others. Or are people becoming more insular here and only wanting a select group to react to to keep safe.

Now obviously I'm just ranting here. And I know it's going to be read by people who already have a blog relationship with me, so it is not directed at anyone. I just wanted to get it off my chest and wonder if you have had similar experience recently if you've tried to expand your blog roll/readership?

OK I've just looked up from this keyboard and the sun is shinning, so I've got to go back to enjoying life again and eat my breakfast in that sunshine and find my equilibrium again, as being grumpy is only ever short lived in my life nowadays.


trousers said...

I am definitely a grumpy old man. I've also been off the radar, blog-wise - though I haven't forgotten about you (and appreciate your comments over at mine). Hello again, fellow grumpster!

Spadoman said...

I HAD to come here after reading the comment you left at Mel's place. I've seen your name there often in the comments, I just never came over to take a look.
I like your honesty about one of the reasons we blog. You say it might be to reach out to others. That is spot on for me. I like conversation via the blogs and e-mail. So, here I broke the ice. I know you've seen my name before and read what I've had to say at the same blog, Mel's for instance. So? I'm just sayin'
I used to work in motion picture production and worked on the production crew for Grumpy and Grumpier Old Men, (Warner Brothers movies with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon). That is trivia you might want if you get to know me better.
Arm Pits! Hmmmm, not the first stop on my ogle meter. I'll have to check out the pit area now that Summer is close at hand and the ladies will be wearing less clothing. I haven't even formulated an opinion as to what is sexy, (or not sexy), about arm pits. When I get over to that section of the body and have an opinion, do you want me to let you know what I think sexy pits should look like? (I actually think the odor thing is enough)
Let's see, what else? I guess that's it for this go 'round. Hope we can be friends.


(I always sign off with the word Peace or some derivitive of it. I'm just a SNAG, Sensitive New Age Guy)

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I love blog comments, but find it the most time consuming part of blogging. I hate not having time/spoons to reply to all the comments on my blog so I try to visit all the commenters blogs instead but it doesn't always work that way.
I'm with you on the adverts, so, so annoying! I fall for the mascara ones every time and every time the actual mascara disappoints me!
From the wannabe grumpy old woman, BG Xxx

Sage said...

I'm with you on the adverts, the one that gets me is 'have a happy period' by always. I would love to meet the company and tell them what I really think xx

Helen said...

We can count on you to 'tell it like it is' .... wonderful! Many of the blogs I read now I found through reading comments on others' blogs and liking what I read. What an incredible network of humanity we find ourselves part of. I don't get hung up at all on who leaves me a comment ~ or who doesn't. I enjoy it all. Definitely not grumpy here today ... there's always tomorrow though.

Lyn said...

Mandy, love the rant about the targeted aging adverts. I am looking at 50 (next week) and I find myself regarding them with the same disdain. With regard to the comments and visitors, when I started blogging my reasons were personal - I did it for self expression and the followers and blog relationships were the icing on the cake. I have found that every time I get caught up with the number of followers I got (and lost), or the lack of responses to my posts, I get worked up and distracted. It takes away all of the good feelings I have about blogging so my way forward has been to freely express myself and hope that maybe someone -even one other person - will find it interesting. If not, I don't take it personally. People are busy and most are caring. They will return when they so will.

Mandy, your blog is brimming with interesting perspective and sharing; just keep doing what you are doing without expectation and you won't get disappointed. You can be rest assured that others are enjoying your posts even if they don't comment. It's kind of like when you are dressed up and looking hot -- you don't need anyone else to tell you that! You just are. And Mandy - you just are! Enjoy the sunshine my friend.

Von said...

From a well practised Grump, there are just some things you can't be bothered with anymore.Life seems so full,there's no time for toxic people or situations.In retirement I try never to do anything I don't want to, reckon I've earned that and it works most of the time and certainly cuts down the grumping.
Re the blog.If someone doesn't ever drop by or they get too much navel gazing and introspective I stop following.I like a bit of humour, a bit of the thought-provoking and someone who doesn't take themselves or life too seriously.
Armpits? By the time you get to my age you're lucky to have any hair in them to bother about!

Vi said...

One of the reasons I quit blogging last year, was because I found it just too much pressure to read every single blog who commented on mine and leave comments for them....cause....yeah...thats what it is all about! But when the blogroll gets to 150, something had to go, so I did a runner. Now that I've come back after the years hiatus, I'm happy to just stick with the lovely bloggers like yourself who've kept in contact. I don't want the pressure of having to read and comment on every person who reads me, so I'm not looking out for new blogs to read. But of course, if anyone DOES pop in I don't know, I WILL pop back and comment and maybe become blog pals. It would be RUDE not to! After all, you are right, it is what it is all about.

Indi said...

Fire Byrd ~ I love 'Grumpy old women' it's bloody hilarious. Hi from Indi who also lives in this fabulous Country, born n bred! x

Sorrow said...

you? Grumpy?
Not a chance!!!!
I am so glad I do not have TV, and I do not have to watch adverts....
just the thought makes my eyes roll...
( into the back of my head!)
And the comment thing...
I love the dialog, and the whole meet awesome people aspect of it ( like yourself (Ahem!_) but I am not getting new people like I used to, but then i don't post much either..
etiquette, is like manners, some people get it, and some people have no clue.

Pam said...

Hi lovely Byrd! Just popped over to tell you the yabbie is up and posted! I love the Grumpy Old Women and Grumpy Old Men series! The Christmas gripes were my favourite. They sound so much like when I and friends/workmates of the same age and stage get together. Usually starts with "I don't know, is it just me or do you....", and ends up in some kind of hilarious recount.If any of your bloggie contacts don't have the courtesy to return a visit - stuff 'em. (grumpy much me?).

Pam said...

...there I go again. I mean "don't worry about it."Thought it best to degrumpyize for the benefit of the sensitive who are busy putting out the dog that's on fire and doing the Heimlick manouvre on their youngest and don't have the time to get back.

speck of dust said...

I wish more grumpy old men and women would blog their grumps then go out in the sun with a smile on their faces. Mums with toddlers and pensioners seem to spend a lot of time in the same time zone in cafes, on buses etc. and it's a dangerous mix. You'd think the old yins would feel young at heart being around little ones. I get looks like they could kill him (and I've got a well behaved boy!). Obviously only grandchildren are worth a smile and a sweety these days.

I have no time to blog never mind read other's or read new blogs. Though the odd time I do have time on my hands it's ovely to find an interesting new one, catch up with faves. I also have no expectations which means I tend not to get disapointed by much and I suppose this goes for friendships I have too. I accept people are busy and when someone gives me their time it's a privilige. x

Mel said...

Whaddaya MEAN their eyelashes are fake?!


I'm devastated.
And I was soooooooooo going to buy the mascara......

AkasaWolfSong said...

Well it looks like I've chosen the very appropriate time to stop by and reciprocate the kindness for your having left such a beautiful comment on my blog, Fire Byrd. :)
As a 57 year old crone I am learning not to have expectations of in that way I won't be hurt. I am guilty of not responding as quickly as perhaps I should, when someone stops by my blog and then I wonder why I am not making friends? What's wrong with that picture, ha ha ha ha ha.
So please forgive me for not stopping by sooner!
As for the sexy armpit thing or all the other stupid ads out there trying to appeal to the adult mind I just laugh uproariously, I mean come'd you like to be locked up in those creative brains for five minutes? Creative indeed! Bah!
As for the grumpy...I think the older we get the more filters we lose...and I am at a stage in life where I certainly say what is on my mind without intentionally hurting someone as I don't want Karma biting my butt!
So...hope you have a very blessed day and many, many blessings to you!

Beatnheart said...

Oh Yeah Baby you is pissed off! Well yeah I agree but really who the hell cares...We love you..I love don't worry about the rest of them.
I have found that I have become less outspoken as I get older...i get into too much trouble with my opinion (outspoken Yank)..and I find it easier to let people have their say and let that be the end of it..Otherwise I just end up arguing all the time. and it uses up to much of my precious energy..I find myself just staying away from people who annoy me which at this time is almost everyone!! I think that is why I like blogging so much..I have relationships with people in just short spurts without knowing about the annoying parts..suits me just fine right now..

Zan said...

I could be a grumpy young woman then..
I think they've got a new show with grumpy young men going at the moment, and funny enough I think they hit it spot on so many times.
Anyway.. I have a lot of things I could say.. a lot of things I'd love to give out about but for now will stick to this blog thing you mention.
What I find annoying is this followers thing. I've known some ppl that have become oh so very happy when the followers list have gone up and reached high numbers. But then I look at commments and quite often it's like what a max of 10 ppl from that followers list that actually even bother to comment? So wtf does the number matter when they don't even bother to stop by anyway.
But oh well.. in the end what does it matter really.
If you want to do a victory dance because your followers have reached 100, good for u! Even if it is just 10 of them commenting..
See I can be so grumpy....
(I could blame it of wrong time of the month?) LOL


Miss Robyn said...

it ain't ever gonna change. I started blogging 4 or 5yrs ago when it was only very small and so hard to find someone who I had something in common.. and have morphed over the years to where I am now and comments/commentors have always been the same..
someone new comes into blogging with a fanfare commenting all over the place, visiting your friends and commenting... you repay their comment [as we think good mannered bloggers do]...and never hear from them again but you see their name all over your friends blogs.. why you ask yourself? I have no idea, it makes me wonder.. but then I think maybe we are just stepping stones for them and that is fine by me.. because truthfully, I don't want to have to feel that I must visit one more blog.
I have a handfull of very good blogging friends and that is enough for me at my point in my blogging life...

and by the way.. I am a grumpy old woman too but strangely enough, I can totally relate to those grumpy old men too!

diney said...

I am becoming a grumpy old woman - I get a little cross too at some of the bad manners when I take the time (5 hours today but don't tell my husband} to check out new blogs, leave comments and then never hear from them - a little discourteous. Now there's no pressure for you to come on over to my place - a bit of a catch 22 here, sorry! I just enjoy reading about other people's lives when I get a chance. (I was supposed to be working on my novel today, but what the heck! I call it research into the human condition!}

Twiglet said...

What a great blog -oh so true and I am not usually a grumpy old woman but certainly share your views on cr.. adverts. At 58 I am just glad I am healthy - who cares if my pits are sexy!!!! If you call in to my blog I promise I will pop back and read some more of your wit and wisdom!

Spadoman said...

This blog is very interesting. It has become a clearing house for British women with sexy armpits.

Annie said...

Sexy pits? who looks? Mine are shaved, clean and I use antipersperant but thats as far as it goes :-)
I'm at the grumpy old woman age too and I'm sure it does us all good to have a grump from time to time.
I love blogging and really enjoy all the encouraging comments left by fellow bloggers. I have added you to my list so will be back to read your rantings. Love it.
A x

Lori ann said...

i'm glad your grumpiness is only short lived, i'm thinking your much prettier when you smile :)

and now i'm going to be late for work...that is the one thing that makes me grumpy (work, not the late part!)

xoxo lori

Merry ME said...

Good Lord, I'm so far down the comment line, you won't even know I've been here.

For the record, I've never once thought about sexy pits. I get that after a certain age there might be more to grump about but I don't think one has to go overboard. Case in point, my father who seems to think because he is old all forms of common courtesy can be thrown out the window. I've noticed lately that women tend to be less grumpy than men. At least the ones I've known.

cheshire wife said...

I tried to leave a comment on this post yesterday but blogger wouldn't let me. I don't watch much TV so don't see the ads. but I expect that they are the same as the ones in magazines. After being taken in by them a few years ago, I now ignore them.

I was pleased that you raised the issue of visiting and commenting as it is something which irks me. I try to return the compliment as much as I can and have stopped visiting the blogs of those who never visit mine.

angela recada said...

Hello, grumpy fellow crone! (By that I mean that you and I are both crones, not that I think you are a fellow, silly Mandy!)

Anyway, I feel the same as you do about many of these topics. The TV ads are ridiculous. They have to make you unhappy with yourself, because if you're happy, you won't buy their merchandise. And they want your money, as much of it as possible.

As for blogging, I found that I was spending far too much time trying to think of something interesting to post. It was taking too much time away from things I really want to do now that I'm an opinionated crone. So now I post only when I have something to say or show.

I, too, am annoyed with people who don't follow my idea of blogging etiquette. And I find it tedious trying to politely and intelligently respond to comments when all they have written in the comment is something that sounds like a teacher has just graded my writing: "Good post!"

Grumpily yours,

MarmiteToasty said...

Ive been the grumpiest of grumps this last couple of years.... sometimes just to much to carry on my already over burdens shoulders....

Ive also been a blob slagger on so many levels.......

Fanks for making me rethink...