Saturday, 16 January 2010

Son and Sun both back after five weeks

I hadn't realised how much I was holding myself in till Al came home yesterday, which coincided with the long awaited thaw. And it's only today that my mind has started free floating about the past and the future. Cause for weeks I've been living right in the moment, which of course is very healthy, especially when the world is more difficult than usual.

But is had meant that I only had two topics of conversation and neither of them that fascinating to anyone else!! Suffice to say I have learnt things about myself. The principal being that, actually as long as I have a dog (or cat in the future) that actually it is fine living alone.

I haven't, outside of normally sad moments, been sad or lonely. Yes I have talked more to myself and maybe that's what people who live alone do. I think we all do it anyway, I just did it more. It was almost reassuring myself that things, whatever those 'things' were in that given moment, were fine.

It was knowing that whether I was just talking aloud, or telling Trix my thoughts, that it was a comfort. A form of self soothing that although I knew about before became a reality.

So now home is back to normal, it's noisy, cluttered, and the boy is grumpy and sweet alternatively, so nothing new there! And it is full of life, which when I was alone I made happen with the radio on,just to have other sound about the place. Now my radio is off as I have the thump thump of music coming from upstairs and I can hear Al endlessly talking to the whole world and his wife. His phone hasn't stopped since he got back, he is a very popular and loved young man.

I'm just glad I've got something to moan about, as in turn that noise down or whatever!

I also have to learn, and learn fast that my youngest son's way is not the same as mine. And that he has to go his own path, however that is. As long as he behaves in my world the way I think is acceptable, I have to let him lead his life in his own world. I already do this with my eldest son, but he lives the other end of the country, so I don't have to see what he gets up to. Whereas for the moment Al and I will continue to live together, at least until he gets a job. As I know he wants to leave home as soon as he's able. Then I can just get my sons to visit me, and not know what they are up to, which would suit me fine!

And now my social life can recommence, so Devon is to be visited on Wednesday, friends are to be gone out with on Monday and Tuesday straight from work. And I get back to my busy, busy self.

With the weather changing I can also start to think again about house selling. I do know that I will have to reduce the price of my house, but want to do that only as the season gets going, not too soon and not too late, just the right moment, so someone can't resist my house and I can get to the seaside.

So after five long weeks of no son and no sun, my world is changing on it's axis again, thank goodness.


Zan said...

=) Uplifiting and positive post. Pets are great, aren't they. I had a cat that my parents gave me when I was 8, he came with me everywhere, slept on my pillow. When I was 10 or so I told him I was going to marry him because he agreed with everything I said and never said anything negative back! Now I have 2 more cats, and a dog, a guinepig and a rabbit.. yep it's a zoo but they are still all lovely to talk to and they always agree no matter what! The dog every now and again tilts her head as to say 'Are you mad?' but then she quickly changes her mind to 'Ok I'm with ya'.

Sounds like this year will have a lot of exciting things in stor for you!


Paula said...

The song of growth and the sound of spirit :-) Love you

Mel said...


Frankly, it's wonderful having adult children!

I don't think I 'suffered' with the transition AT all. *chuckling*

And I have himself--kinda like having a faithful dog that talks back? *laughing* Let's not tell him that, shall we....

(((((((( the byrdie ))))))))))

Welcome back!
(and I don't mean the son or the sun....)

Lyn said...

Mandy - it must feel great to have a level of "normalcy" returning to your life. I know how much you missed your son - especially over the holidays. And the return of the other "sun" -- I know how much of a relief that must be for you too! Luv, Lyn

Angela Recada said...

I'm so glad you have your son back with you! No matter how annoying they are, our motherly world (and heart) is still better with them in it.

So glad you can once again enjoy your son and the sun!

Hugs and love,

(So sorry I haven't commented recently. I do think about you often.)

speck of dust said...

and spring will be here very soon :)

tattytiara said...

Sounds like a lovely shift in the order of things! You know, that's the one thing about having children I wonder about the most. What it will be like when somebody I myself raised turns out to be nothing (or at least very little) like me. I'm betting it's the kind of thing you can't even begin to imagine until you're living it!

Grammy said...

That is all wonderful news. You are planing to live by the sea ? Oh I want to come live with you. I live 8 miles from the lake here it is a tourist spot in Missouri. But I saw the golf of Mexico last march and it was wonderful. I love to be near water. It has healing ways that sooth the soul form me.
Big hug. So glad things are back on track.

nitebyrd said...

You look happy that he's home.

I agree with you about having a dog and/or cat when living alone. They are SO much better to have as housemates than the human kind. ;)

miss*R said...

that dog has been the best thing ever for you!!!... remember when you were having second thoughts.. you are perfect for each other xo