THE PORCH

i sit beneath the canopy of green
the bird song sweet amongst the leaves
the sun lighting up the earth
the sounds of life go bustling by
but i sit quiet and contemplate.
it's nearly time for me to go
to leave this place
i will return, of that i'm certain
but not until another year or so, can i sit here
this sanctuary for my soul
it will though stay in my mind, as it has done for years
and in the darkness of the night
when dreams are needed
i will travel to it, to the light
the place of love and care
where with my friends i do share
the joy and sadness that make our lives

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ODD~~~~

My friend Eve, has been having some trouble with her neighbours over parking. And the woman, who smeared cake all over her daughter's car, told Eve that she was odd..... personally I would have thought spreading cake over a car was a bit weird, but...

So I've just spent the most delightful two days with two of the oddest women I can call my friends.

The idea that people should think that any one of the three of us was odd, was we decided a real compliment.
We revelled in being odd, it seems such a natural place for us all to be. That is, just outside the norm, whatever that is.

So the three of us have parents from different countries to the other, as in I'm half Irish and half English, and the other two were much more exotic in their parents or grandparents countries of birth.

We are all extremely well traveled, and think nothing of driving 6 hours to visit someone else, and in two of our cases to stay with people we hadn't even met!

We all have different religious backgrounds and all choose not to belong to any formal religion, but to have developed our spiritual beliefs. And our belief in humans right to believe and be who they want, without us having the right to know better than the other what is right and wrong for them.

We as woman of a certain age are no longer being part of the pressure group that says we should dye our hair, we are going grey with pride.

We all dressed differently, and rather than feeling that each should be as the other celebrated the difference, which allowed me to be the girly I am in my frocks and pretty skirts. (And then to have the piss taken out of me with love and affection as a result!)

We were, despite coming from different countries, as in, I'm from England and therefore have different political parties, all of the same belief system, in believing in a democracy and a humans right to vote for what they believe in. As long as in so doing that vote didn't subgegate another being.

We, were able to allow each other to have whatever views we had, without threat to the other, and were happy to listen to each other espouse those views as a human right and were prepared to allow the other their take on whatever subject.

In all we, as three different people from different backgrounds with very different histories and life experiences were able to learn about each other, and work through any fear and uncertainity we may have had to the stranger in our midst.

We found that despite the things that were different, we had more bonds that were in common.

Humanity, sharing, love, joy these were thinks that made our own worlds rock and they made the three of us rock together.

Fear of the unknown, fear of the difference, fear for fears sake, they were not needed.

So if we three represent oddness in our diversity of ethnic make up and religious ideology, then I'm glad to be odd.

I do not want to be someone who chooses to fear another people because it doesn't conform to some narrow view of what is right and wrong in my view, because of race, or sexuality, disability or religious persuasion.

The world we live in right now is fighting for the right to have a democracy, as in Iran. Or to be rid of a group that denies it's people the right to an education, as in the Taliban. Or denies it's inhabitants to elect who they want, as in Burma.
Or denies it's inhabitants the right to drive , vote, teach, nurse because they served goal time regardless of the crime for the rest of their lives, as in America.

Where is the democracy in that?

We have to live together on this planet, it is the only one we've got. There is no fantastic space station some of us can escape to find new worlds in. This is it, and if people aren't allowed to live without fear, or to be allowed to vote, or to have their rights to their beliefs what does that say about the rest of us?

Being open minded doesn't mean that everyone else has to be like me,( otherwise everyone will be wearing pretty frocks.) It means I respect your right to be different from me. And I would like to learn more about you, as long as you are prpared to meet me half way.

Lets hear it for oddness!!!

Hide and Seek!!

You can't see me I'm hiding!!!

Check out Trousers blog to see a video of the bird song in Lud's Church, it's specatular

I'M SO EXCITED.....

Don't know if I'll have time to post before I go away, as my house has got to be cleaned, the sheets changed on the bed and then laundered . Plus the work things I suppose I'll have to fit in before I go. Although I think that an almost unreasonable request, to turn up to earn my money when I'm sooooo excited!
So thought I'd leave you with a picture of the porch, ( I know you've seen it before) that Eve and I will sit on at the weekend. And then Sorrow will change places whilst Eve works! And I will barely move at all till it's time to come home.
I will no doubt have things to say whilst I'm there as trying to shut me up just isn't going to happen.
So take care of yourselves and come meet me on the porch in your dreams, I'll be sitting on the sofa at the end, with a book to hand, and no doubt more gin than is good for me!
Lots of butterfly kisses for all
xx

LUD'S CHURCH AN ANCIENT PLACE

Today my good friend Trousers and I went walking. I picked him up from the station and drove to the Staffordshire/ Cheshire border. We parked the car in Cheshire walked over Danebridge back into Staffordshire


We went through the woods towards Gradbach then turning off towards the Hanging Stone.

Trousers was being braver than me, by climbing the top of the stone. I just get convinced that if I get up it, I won't be able to get down.


We came to Lud's Church, these are just three of the amazing pics I took in there.




Lud's Church is a natural crevice in the gritstone rock found in this part of the world. It is surrounded by very old oak woods.
It has two legends attached to it.
The first relates to Sir Gawain, one of the Knights of the Round Table in King Arthurs court. According to the medieval poem, called Sir Gawain and the Green Knight this is where Sir Gawain came to keep his bargain with the Green Knight to let the Knight behead him. This if you were lucky enough to see it was featured on a programme on BBC 4 last week, as the poet Simon Armitage has translated the poem from Middle English, and he went on the journey from Tintagel in Cornwall up to Lud's Church telling the story as he went.

The other legend features Little John, who was one of Robin Hood's Merry Men. He is thought to be buried nearby, as Lud's Church was a place used by the Knights Templar for sanctuary on their return from the Crusades. At that time the forest stretched from Sherwood in Nottinghamshire all the way across to the Cheshire plain. And there are severallocal stories that bring Robin Hood to this part of England.

Whatever the truth of these legends it doesn't matter as the place has an eerieness all of it's own. The temperature drops by several degrees when you enter it. And once in, apart from any bird song above you, there is no other sound at all. It has a quality of peace and tranquility not found too often nowadays.

It is a very special place to me,and I love going there. Today's round walk was 8 miles, and I'm more than happy to do it again and again.

Leaving this ancient and sacred place we continued our walk on top of the moors you can see the Roaches in the distance, in the bottom photograph and back past the Hanging Stone and to the pub in Wincle, Cheshire, for a very well deserved drink.

BUTTERFLY WINGS

This started as a comment on someones post, and I realised what I felt was so important to me that I needed to expand on it and post it myself.

Like the butterfly wings, fluttering on a summer dawn.
One small action can lead on to more, as the strength of the breeze builds up across the world.
And we realise we are not one, but many and we all just want to live in peace
And here we stretch out our hands in friendship across the continents and feel heard by one another.
And the butterfly lands gently on our hands as the touch, the essence of love that is offered one to another that holds us in bad times and leads us to good
The people who pass by here and care.
Sometimes they just read, and maybe sigh
Some may say words of cherishing and love, that envelop us in care.
To know that you pass by this way and stop to stare and connect with me, though your miles and miles away.
That makes me smile, makes me hope, makes me know that your butterfly kiss words are given with the same hope and generosity that you want me to respond to you.
And so the circle is complete and the world revolves.
And the butterfly soars into the sky touching our hearts and souls as its wings shimmer in the morning light

I'M JUST SO EXCITED

As you know I don't like being where I live and try and go away as much as possible as a result. And I have three very lovely trips coming up.

I'm getting so excited, and I don't know which trip is the most thrilling.

The first is wonderfully familiar and will be Philadelphia.
I'll arrive a week on Friday lunch time. Eve will be late picking me up, and we'll drive to her house. She makes me stay in her bed and she goes in her daughter's room. So whilst I'm unpacking she'll be changing the sheets. Then she'll go off to the store, whilst I make my way to the porch. I'll sit in the same place I always do and in a short while Eve will emerge with a try laden with cheese, crackers, grapes, salami, olives and large gin and tonics. And there we will sit regardless of the weather till it's too dark to see and the mosquito's have realised I'm there. As there is one thing the mossies love, it's me!!! Then we'll move to her front room. Pat Methaney will be put on to play and the conversation will continue till about 9pm when I'm falling asleep with jet lag. I could tell you a complete break down of Saturday and Sunday as well, but I'll save you from terminal boredom by stopping.

On Monday, fingers crossed, Sorrow will arrive, she has a 7 hour drive to get to us, I know I did the other way last year! And she will be there till Wednesday. Eve will be at work, so Sorrow and I can pick up where we left off last year's conversation.

All of that has me tingling with anticipation, I love the familiarity of being there. I love the routine, I love being with my friend, she is the holder of all my secrets, as I am hers. And I have ten wonderful days of just being there.

So that is one exciting adventure, the other one that is thrilling me, is one that will take place in September. I go with my beautiful niece to Berlin for the weekend. She has been to Berlin a few times and is keen to go with her aged Aunt and show her the sights!!!! Then on the Monday we part, her back to the airport to got back to Liverpool and me to the train station to catch a train to USEDOM!!!!!! Guess who I'm going to see there..... yep Paco! and possibly Hans, and GELI!!! YES!!! How exciting is that? It will be a real challenge for me to get across Germany by myself, not speaking a word outside of please and thank you! I'm going to stay with her through till Friday then get myself back to Berlin and then the airport.

These two trips represent all that is safe and known in my life as opposed to a real challenge to my fears. I can't wait for both! And of course inbetween there will be a summer trip down to Devon. Just as well I don't ever go out, about from walking round here, as I'd never afford this otherwise.

The photo is a very special door to an enchanted world somewhere in America.

THE WEATHER, WHAT'S GOING ON

OOhhh I've always wanted to get into a truly British post and talk about our national obsession..... the weather.
If you live here you can talk to strangers endlessly about the weather. Doesn't matter how old the person you start talking to, we all have something to say on the subject.
The weather in the UK is rarely right, we all can find something wrong with it. Even last week when it was stunning, sunny and warm, some people moaned cause they were having to water their gardens too much,as it was too dry.
Today it is terrible, pouring with rain, windy and so cold. I'm still sitting here with two jumpers on. I wanted to put the heating on, but wouldn't let myself as it is June..... My son has no such qualms and the house is now getting so toasty I may be able to remove a layer soon!
So I thought because the weather is so odd around the world we'd go for a trip to the south coast of England just cause we can. There doesn't seem to be the patterns of weather that we are used to, as in the winters were always snowy and the summers always sunny. That of course is a rose coloured view of our pasts! But there do seem to be a lot of mentions about how our weather is around blogworld, as it doesn't seem to be what we assumed was normal. So we can all be assured that these extraordinary conditions are either due to global warming, or the start of the next ice age!!!


April, Newhaven


March, Beachy Head

November, Exmouth


July, Teignmouth


Febuary, Dawlish Warren


May, Carbis Bay

A DAY ENDING IN A PUFF OF WIND

The day didn't start well. I woke up around 4am, which is fairly normal, and did go back to sleep, but the dreams were horrible. All about people not liking me, and failing at things, so when I woke up it took some time the shake off the feelings.

Whilst I was walking Trix, I got hooked into very negative and paranoid thinking,convinced that my dreams were omens about reality. So I ran, as did Trix, she thought it was great, across the playing field and back till I couldn't run anymore and the horrid thoughts had gone.

Getting back I had to get a move on to make my 9am appointment. I hadn't told anyone about the appointment. I got to the hospital, and saw the consultant and he examined me and told me he thought everything was fine. I had known it would be. I have faith in keeping well.

I got back in my car and I broke down. I was devastated, there was no-one to give me a hug. Actually there couldn't be. Cause if anyone had come with me, then I'd have hooked into the times they came with me before. When I was told I had cancer, when I had the three operations, all those bad times of three years ago. So was I so upset?

I suppose the answer lies in, never being free of having had cancer, never being totally to relax and think in that blindly ignorant way pre cancer that it would never happen to me.

So I text everyone I could text,even though a couple of people wondered about the randomness of the text, given that I hadn't informed anyone I was going for a check up in the first place, and it took them a moment or two to fathom out where I was coming from.

I went to a coffee shop and had a mocha with cream and absolute adored indulgence. People started texting me back and I spoke to my sister on the phone. Came home and told one friend by email. And had one friend who was due to pop in anyway, give me a big hug and had 20 minutes of listening to me.(I did listen to her as well!!)

So things should have been turning back to normal, except Trix has had a problem with one of her ears and I'd looked inside it to find it covered in blood. And my anxiety levels went through the roof again.

This meant she had to go to the vets, the other times she's gone I've done it with Alex, who is naturally stronger than me. But he's away I had to make the appt, and go on my own. All other visits Trix has been very difficult to handle. The vet is gentleness itself, but she has wanted to rip his arm off.

Not this time she sat on the floor and stayed still whilst he examined both her ears, and put drops in the poorly one, and even though I'd got hold of her choke chain in case she turned, she was calm. I think she knew that she had to be good for me, and that she realised that her ear was going to be helped.

And now we're back and she has crashed out on the sofa, and I'm huddled here in two sweaters, I think my anxiety levels have made me freezing. But I now feel really good. I'm okay, Trix will be okay, and I coped with the enormous fear of taking her to the vets by myself. .... Result I think

And all my lovely family and friends have contacted me, and what do you know they all love and like me, so my vile dreams that I started the day with we're all nonsense, as I knew they were. And I also knew that they were my mind preparing me for the morning I had ahead, but luckily my anxiety has disappeared (till next time!!!) like a puff of wind.

MY MUM WOULD HAVE BEEN 80 TODAY

Today would have been my Mum's 80th birthday, had she been alive. Instead she died when she was 57 from cancer.
So me and my sister have been without her for a long time.
It doesn't hurt any more, except for rare occasions, and when they happen they are as bad as any time in the past when I've missed her.
To mark the day I suggested that we meet up for lunch. But neither of us could get together till late, so I suggested I make a picnic and we have it in my sisters garden.
Being organised last night I put the ice packs in the freezer, and made a list of what I had to nip out for first thing. Which I duly did.
I turned up at N's clutching a bouquet of red roses that I'd ordered. Red roses where the flowers the N had made into wreaths for both our parents, I opted for yellow ones both times. And my picnic basket.
Grabbing rugs and cushions we went into her garden and I laid out my picnic. I did feel a bit like Ratty in Wind in the Willows as N sat there exclaiming over all the goodies that came out of my bag, as the Mole had done when he saw Rat's picnic. Only difference between me and Ratty was he had ginger beer and I'd brought half a bottle of champagne!
So there we sat in the now cloudy and cooler weather than of late remembering our Mum. It was such a lovely time together, we despite only living half a mile apart don't see each other that much. Unless I make the effort to demand a visit, my sister is a fairly anti-social creature, so it was a treat.
As ever when we are together conversation was about our families and our plans, and we are both on the cusp of big changes, as are two youngest children. So it is a time of uncertainty and potential fear as change is always threatening somewhere down the line.
Then I walked home only to have left on my doorstep a little while later a packet of mussels, a pack of raspberries and a pot of cream, along with an awful lot of freesias, as her thank you for my part in making the day special.
Since it's been a day for families I thought you might like to see me with my Alex, Kit and N.
Oh and for anyone who reads me on facebook and has noticed how many pics I'm wearing stripped tops I need you to know that I have 10 of them, all slightly different!!!