Wednesday, 3 June 2009

MY MUM WOULD HAVE BEEN 80 TODAY




Today would have been my Mum's 80th birthday, had she been alive. Instead she died when she was 57 from cancer.
So me and my sister have been without her for a long time.
It doesn't hurt any more, except for rare occasions, and when they happen they are as bad as any time in the past when I've missed her.
To mark the day I suggested that we meet up for lunch. But neither of us could get together till late, so I suggested I make a picnic and we have it in my sisters garden.
Being organised last night I put the ice packs in the freezer, and made a list of what I had to nip out for first thing. Which I duly did.
I turned up at N's clutching a bouquet of red roses that I'd ordered. Red roses where the flowers the N had made into wreaths for both our parents, I opted for yellow ones both times. And my picnic basket.
Grabbing rugs and cushions we went into her garden and I laid out my picnic. I did feel a bit like Ratty in Wind in the Willows as N sat there exclaiming over all the goodies that came out of my bag, as the Mole had done when he saw Rat's picnic. Only difference between me and Ratty was he had ginger beer and I'd brought half a bottle of champagne!
So there we sat in the now cloudy and cooler weather than of late remembering our Mum. It was such a lovely time together, we despite only living half a mile apart don't see each other that much. Unless I make the effort to demand a visit, my sister is a fairly anti-social creature, so it was a treat.
As ever when we are together conversation was about our families and our plans, and we are both on the cusp of big changes, as are two youngest children. So it is a time of uncertainty and potential fear as change is always threatening somewhere down the line.
Then I walked home only to have left on my doorstep a little while later a packet of mussels, a pack of raspberries and a pot of cream, along with an awful lot of freesias, as her thank you for my part in making the day special.
Since it's been a day for families I thought you might like to see me with my Alex, Kit and N.
Oh and for anyone who reads me on facebook and has noticed how many pics I'm wearing stripped tops I need you to know that I have 10 of them, all slightly different!!!

19 comments:

Ronjazz said...

Actually I was thinking about how proud your mother would be if she saw you today. Having gone what you've gone through...your family, your accomplishment, your very nature...

How ARE you, honey?

Helen said...

your words 'change is always threatening somewhere down the line' tugged at my heartstrings

Mum would be pleased with you and N

Siobhán said...

A lovely way to remember someone so special.

Good luck with the changes coming your way.

Val said...

happy birthday to your mum! she would have been proud of you all i am sure x

trousers said...

Glad you marked the day in such a way. I agree with what everyone else has said above, too.

I've realised that on the anniversary of my dad's death (something which often passes me by without me thinking about it, which isn't a problem) I'll be most likely out walking in beautiful countryside in N Yorkshire, and I can't think of a better way of marking such a day.

Hugs x

nitebyrd said...

Your mum would be so proud and happy. What beautiful daughters she has and how delightfully they remember her.

Angela said...

That was lovely, Mandy. Somehow she was with you, stroking her girls!

miss*R said...

you know what? I LOVE that you respect your sister being anti social.. that is just wonderful!
the picnic sounds absolutely perfect - just like something out of Famous Five !! I must read wind in the willows again.. it is many many years - too many. Your sister sounds like a beautiful soul... freesias, raspberries and a pot of cream - so perfect.. I could cry. this is pure magick to my soul xo

my dad died years ago too and I know what you mean about the pain of loss still being raw.. sometimes it makes me gasp..

Blogget Jones said...

What a lovely way to remember your Mum! Lately, I've been irritated with mine a lot....but then it hits me that she's getting older and not-so-healthy. And I have to think of how little time I might have, and how I want our time remembered. Thank you for reminding me of that again!

Hold you head high! You're a force of nature unto yourself, and a daughter to be proud of!

:o) BJ

e said...

A truly lovely tribute to your mother...Good luck with what lies ahead.

Linda - Gold Coast said...

Thank you Mandy for a very touching and moving post. Wishing you well with the changes ahead. Cheers Linda. PS Just love your blog by the way.

Paula said...

A very special way to be with your Mum. I am sure she is proud of you.

karen said...

What a great post, celebrating your mum, and the family pics are great, too. That picnic sounds idyllic..

Good to know that you do have more than one stripy shirt, by the way! :)

lakeviewer said...

Lovely way to be remembered. Hope your changes don't wear you out.

Merry ME said...

Byrd,
Great post. We celebrated what would have been my parent's 68th wedding anniversay by gorging ourselves on seafood at the iconic American restaurant Red Lobster. Memories and butter-drenched comfort food ... a blessed duo.

hele said...

this left me with a wonderful warm feeling in my heart. thank you*

Mel said...

Happy Birthday to your mom..and hugs to you and yours.

*sigh*

The fabric of my patchwork heart is sometimes woven a bit too loosely for my likings.....

justme said...

Just catching up with blogs a bit....this one made me cry...in a nice way. How lovely that you spent the day remembering. x

CheekyDani said...

Still catching up on your blog (yes I'm slow/overworked/underpaid/etc!)...

Lovely to read such a sensitive post x