Please ignore the post below.
All is well HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF !!!
The fear was real, as fear is, even though it is totally illogical.
It scares me how quickly I go straight for the worst possible place. Logical thought goes out of the window so fast.
I don't know but I would suspect that my reaction is the same as others who've been had to deal with cancer.
Plus being alone makes my anxiety unmanageable, as my fantasies go haywire.
I will not though beat myself up about this, even though that's very tempting!
I didn't used to be like this but then I didn't used to have cancer either.And I don't anymore either I just have emotional fall out occasionally!!!
And when I get scared I don't want to to tell the boys till I have to , they had enough to deal with when I really was ill.