Thursday, 10 July 2008


Happiness and dreams are odd things. A few years ago the way to achieve both was by having stuff and wanting stuff. My house is full of collections of this and that.
My wardrobes are full of clothes, shoes and handbags.

And I would have an ache to get something to add to the stuff I already had.

Nowadays I don't need or want anything. This doesn't mean I don't buy stuff, but it's more spur of the moment like the dress in the sale in Liverpool last week. Well it looked better than the clothes I'd been wearing!! And I was going to have lunch with the gorgeous and beautiful Wakeup! So I kept it on and got complements about how pretty it was!

What I mean is that age has allowed me to loose that desire to want a new acquisitions endlessly, and what makes me happy is being with friends.

So yesterday was a red letter day. I had lunch with the first mate of the day, we work together and it was lovely after we'd got all the work stuff out of the way to just catch up with each others news.

Then of to second mates,this is a woman I've known for many years but only recently become friends with. Whilst at her house her physiotherapist turned up to give her a treatment. And I curled up on her sofa and went to sleep. No one batted an eyelid. No-one was disturbed by my needing to sleep. It was just what needed to be. It was just acceptance. 15 minutes later I could cope with the rest of the day. I felt so comfortable that I could ask for my needs to be met, and knew enough that it would be fine.

And on to the third friend of the day, one of my close friends, we both work in the NHS and first got all our excitement out of the way regarding the reports that are coming out of the government about the need for a more holistic approach to health and the need for talking therapies.... YES! that'll keep me in work then! Lord Darzi you are our hero!

Then of to the pub for dinner,conversation and increasing trust in each other as we confided in one another.

I had this wonderful sociable day cause all three women live in a 5 mile radius of each other. And it seemed silly not to sort out meeting up with them in one fell swoop, as they are all an hours drive from me.

And what I know this morning is that, friendship and love are what keep me warm in way that no number of cashmere jumpers can! And that all I need /want nowadays is enough money to put petrol in my car so I can visit. Or enough money that I can afford an airfare.

Not for me the beach holiday, lying in the sun. Or the skiing holiday Or any other sort of holiday that didn't involve being with my friends.

To sit on my friends porch next week in Philadelphia and just be together is beyond price. And she does have the best porch in the world anyway!

And this summer I'm being braver than that cause I'm hiring a car and driving approx 6 hours to go stay with the very wonderful Sorrow. Who I have yet to meet in the flesh, but have spent many hours communicating with elsewhere.

If she turns out to be as wonderful as the other people I have met in real life through blogging then I am blessed. As the lovely people who I lunch with, walk with, party with, hang out with eating scones, are just simply utterly fantastic.And you know who you are.

So that's it, I am content. And life is uncomplicated right now, as there is no man that I'm spending my time hooked into, and right now that is beyond fine.

It is OK, being on my own doing what I want when I want to do it, without having a new handbag to do it!!!


evetemple said...

So looking forward to your visit, pix. Priceless indeed. You know I am honored to be included in your circle. Gin procured today. Very large bottle and 2 of the sparkling for brunch on the (now famous) front porch. Stay happy and travel safely.

Mei Del said...

sigh it's really nice to get there isn't it? since you're in such a good mood here, please consider this cheeky request - could i bring my dog Kofi to your party?

Elizabethd said...

So true.

Mel said...

Oh what a lovely time of it......

And what a brilliant place to just BE in the photo.

I think I want one!

Lucky you to have three of them within a hop, skip and a jump. And isn't it wonderful to not 'want'?

Mean Mom said...

So glad that you feel content. We only need so much. How do millionaires spend all of that money? It's obscene. I'm tired of seeing shallow people driving about in flash cars and wearing designer clothes, and obviously feeling that the rest of us envy them. I don't. They should be ashamed.

On a lighter note, there are awards and a silly post, at my place, if you have a few minutes to spare!

Trixie said...

Yep, not having a guy in your life CAN make you feel very content, without any extra hassles. Hence why I haven't been successful on my dates I guess!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

It's such a great feeling, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it! BG x

nitebyrd said...

Your post resounds with happiness and peace. It's lovely! I hope you have a fantastic time in Philadelphia and put in some great "porch" time with your friend.

Sorrow seems like such an amazing woman. I'll bet you two get along famously. Just remember, drive on the right! LOL

Anonymous said...

Well said, BB. Friendship is so important, especially in taxing times.

Wishing you a happy holiday in the US. Wil you be able to put your sailing skills to the test? Don't dump the labels too soon, sailing babes need a whole new special wardrobe ;).

Bollinger Byrd said...

Eve, last thursday worked, now just got Monday and I'm so excited!
love you.

mei, yes you can bring Kofi, if trix can bring her sisters I see no problem!!!

welcome Elizabethd, lovely to meet you.

mel, it is mel, it seriously is.

mean mom, should I confess that I drive an MX5 at this point!!! I'll be over later to read.

yep trix, you get your mind to yourself..... could manage the sex though LOL

bendy girl I am , I'm really ok at the moment... long may it last.

nitebyrd, neverr mind driving on the right got to sort out being in an automatic first... watch out East Coast mad English woman loose behind a wheel!!

welcome Hullabloo,your right friendship is the glue that holds me together. As for designer sailing gear.... uumm! hadn't thought of that!

bbx xxxxxxxx

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

It is such a wonderful contented place to be and hard earned as well.

Cait O'Connor said...

What a lovely blog, the contentment shone through.
And a good idea seeing three friends in a day, what a joy.

blogthatmama said...

A sparkling post! Hope you have a great time in the US.

Bollinger Byrd said...

westerwitch, cait and BtM, thank you for those words. Contentment is such a good place to be, but like all emotions can be blown away by a whisp of breeze.
I no longer try and tell myself I shouldn't feel what ever it is I feel, I just try and accept it in the here and now, whether it's a good or bad feeling.
So although I have so much to be content about, I've just got to vanquish the Saturday demon by cleaning my house to stop feeling sad!

l-q-s said...

Time with those we love: who could ask for more? Yes, you're right, it's one of the most precious things we can have. I'd much rather do that than go shopping... Although, come to think if it, even I need new shoes occasionally. ;)

Have a wonderful time on the porch, it's stunning!

Bollinger Byrd said...

l-q-s lovely to see you again.
your right about both friendship and shoes!
The porch I was told last night is swept, the hedge is trimmed, the plants are watered and just waiting for me at about 4pm Thursday to sink down onto the sofa.