trouble

I want the voices out of my head.
I want to escape myself
I want the pain to go away
And I'm just his mother.

How must he feel this son of mine.
The hope all gone and now just shame.
No wonder he sleeps, the reality sucks.

Yesterday I was filled with rightgeous awe
today he's my son, and I love him more
I can't make it better I wish I could.

To turn back the clock
To make it all go away.
to stop the chatter inside my head.

Oh I blame the man that walked away
without a backward glance
and left me alone to carry on

the same man that stopped paying for his son
when he reached 21
but wait, he still had another,
doesn't he count?

I hate you ex husband of mine
I hate you for the pain you've caused
I hate you
I hate
I

The hope of the future now has gone
The brochures promising a future
just laugh in my face,
should I throw them away before he awakes?

~~~~~~~~~~
Life has got very, very difficult suddenly, as you can see it relates to my son.
I'm feeling very alone right now.
And at this moment I'd give anything to have a partner to talk things over with, (even if it was a rotten relationship!)
My poor friends are putting up with a lot.
Life sucks right now, and we need time to help us find a way through it