Wednesday, 12 October 2011

A saga of our times

I cannot begin to describe how exciting having a new working fridge freezer is.....

I know, I hear you going, what a sad life, if that's what's exciting. But bear with me, I've had a trying week.

I have a wonderful fitted kitchen, oak work units and granite tops, dark green Spanish tiles on the walls and pale quarry tiles on the floor. I had it put in about 7 years ago. I went for the best I could afford  for two reasons, one it will make it easier to sell and two I love cooking. So I reasoned until I come to sell up I will benefit from a cooks kitchen. Part of this grand design then, was to have all the units hidden behind wooden doors. No ugly white goods showing for me.

A sound decision until something breaks down.....

The fridge part of the fridge freezer bust. Took me a while to work it out, kept thinking that the shops had been selling me rotten food!
But eventually even I couldn't actually deny that two lots of bad meat, a sour carton of milk and a fermenting orange juice was all a bit much from one shop two days before.
I know I was dim, but hey....

So this meant what turned out to be a very expensive afternoon at the shops, as buying boring new FF which could be integrated into my work units was limited to, expensive or even more expensive.

Gawd if I had a spare £460 in life buying kitchen appliances would never be at the top of my wish list for sure. But there I was the new owner of a FF to be fitted in 10 days time
10 DAYS!!!!! What the......
Fortunately I did have a very old fridge out in the garage with a broken seal but that was better than nothing.



Next installment....


RAIN for days and more RAIN and did I mention RAIN. Well we needed it, everywhere except the inside of my car! I have had this wretched leak investigated by the whole world of garage people seemingly. I've had three replacement windscreens, all to no avail  the car still leaks in an unknown way. So on RAINY days in the foot-well of the passengers side there is a small and beautifully formed swimming pool for any  small creature who takes up residence in my car.

SOOOO.....

The car needed to be put in the garage, perfectly reasonable thing to do.....

But my garage is incredibly small, my car is quite long, there is a six inch gap in front of the garage shelf and a three inch gap at the back to shut the door. It's a tight squeeze, and don't let me even get started on the performance of climbing out of the car with the width of the sides.

Part 3....

The food is in the garage fridge, the car is in the garage, it's still bloody RAINING. The door to the side of the garage is swollen so a brick is holding it shut, the back door to the kitchen is a few feet away at the end of a path that is covered with climbing plants that overhang it.....



Are you beginning to get the picture.....

So I want some milk, or cheese or bread or dog food or anything else that is now lurking in the depths of the old fridge. Now you can come on the journey with me... Are you prepared, this is going to test us all.

Out of the kitchen door under the dripping plants and torrential drizzle, kick the brick away open the door, climb over the front of the car, (as fridge door opens wrong way) get into 6 inch gap on far side, open fridge door 6 inches, grovel blindly in the dark, switch for the light is other end of the garage, not worth fighting to get to it, we only want milk, get what you hope is milk, slam the fridge door and kick it at the bottom so seal works, climb back over car bonnet, out of the door, kick the brick back, rush back into the house, look at what your holding and it's the sodding juice carton..... guess what......
By day ten of this, I have reasonably in my opinion lost the will to live and am thinking that anorexia is looking like a great option. The RAIN, by the way still hasn't stopped.

And on Saturday these two burly chaps arrive and in one hour make life worth living again.... I have a new and sparkling working fridge freezer, with a wine rack, Oh yes! Unpacking the shopping was never so much fun on Saturday afternoon

Simple pleasures, simple pleasures, even if I am now beyond broke for the rest of this month and will have anorexia by default as spent all my money on the F...ingFF!!!!!

8 comments:

Angela said...

Hahaha! Very funny, Mandy! Too bad you had to give up wiggling out of your car that way - still imagining it and giggling! You could really describe it well, I`m chuckling again. Never so funny to be in such a situation yourself, but listening to it, bwahahaa!

nitebyrd said...

You have to have 10 days like that to really appreciate the new fridge. You poor thing! I'm glad you now have a working one. It's also great to know you'll find humor in a bitchy situation. Cheers, girl!

Pam said...

Wow Byrdie - that would test the patience of anyone! It does take a bad anything to make you appreciate good, including weather!
Things I've appreciated have been good plumbing in a new house, after experiencing chronically bad in a previous one (the moths were starting to fly out the wallet living there), and the joys of a soft warm comfortable bed after weeks of camping in the rain years ago in Tasmania.It hardly stopped raining at the time, and so damn cold it didn't matter that we had no access to a fridge and managed without.
Here's to your happy kitchen and less rainy days.xx

karen said...

Oh Mandy - what a nightmare!! I can totally relate to episodes like this.. thank heavens you are sorted out again!!

Paula said...

Had to giggle allover again! Glad you have such a shiny new appliance with wine rack! Big warm hug

GaynorB said...

I like your description Mandy, it made me smile!

I think we have all been there in some form or another at one time or another. Hope life runs a bit more smoothly for you.

Mel said...

:-/

I know I shouldn'ta laughed.
I did.
I'll go to the naughty corner.

But I just wanna defend that visual of you clamoring over the car's hood with the orange juice in hand after kicking the **** outta the door so it'd seal.....

<-- going to the corner, giggling!

I'm a bad person. :-/

Miss Robyn said...

you make me laugh!!!!