Friday, 1 April 2011
Red Roses for a wonderful and missed Mum
My house is awash with flowers, if a house can be awash with flowers!
I have stocks, I bought last Friday, which although just past their best are still looking lovely in their pale lilac and pink.
There is a bunch of daffodils next to me, I bought two but one was for a friend I went to supper with on Monday.
I have another bunch of daffodils on the dining table, courtesy of the rain in the garden. I don't like picking my garden flowers but these had all got battered and needed to be seen in all their glory.
In the kitchen I have a tiny vase with battered garden tulips in.
And finally on my coffee table I have a vase of deep pink and red roses.
Now you might think all this is a bit excessive. And I would agree with you, but I couldn't let the flowers outside just die on the ground. And I needed the roses.
This Sunday is Mother's Day and I always buy my mum flowers. Her grave is a couple of hours drive away and I no longer go there. But I need to have some flowers for her. So that is what the roses are for.
I don't like Mother's Day, even though I have two wonderful sons, who, if they remember will send me cards, flowers or chocs. I say that cause I know my youngest will remember, comes from my suggesting earlier in the week that he remind his brother by text not to forget!!! I'm not daft you know!
Actually that's a bit unfair on them cause I know how much they love me and it's my birthday the following Sunday and Mother's Day like Easter is very late this year. And I know that my big son is coming back for my birthday. So it's just greedy to want both remembering I think, in such a short time.
As an aside, I've won a photo shoot for me and my sons. I won the same thing 10 years ago and have a wonderful photograph of the three of us alongside the dog we had then. There are very few pictures of the three of us together. So I couldn't let this opportunity go past not to get the three of us in another picture. Hence eldest coming up for my birthday not something he'd normally do anymore.
Going back to Mother's Day, my Mum died a quarter of a century ago and I have hated Mother's Day ever since.It doesn't matter how much I get treated and shown love by Kit and Alex, I have an emptiness inside me that can never be fixed. Don't get me wrong I'm deeply happy that my sons love me as they do. And amazingly grateful that we have come through our lives together with our relationships intact. That I have been a good enough single Mum since they were 9 and 3 that we have held together through a lot of bad and good times.
So this weekend I will allow myself to be whatever feeling I have, sad, happy, lonely, joyful, whatever washes over me. That way I can appreciate my sons love for me and I can carry on loving my own Mummy inside my heart