Tuesday, 28 December 2010

The place to be

I would like words to drop like jewels from my mind onto the paper. To cascade in flowing rivulets. Twisting and turning with wit and repartee. To sparkle with a diamond intensity in a poetic ballet of thought and dreams.

That's what I would like, but I actually have is a brain of mush.
A mush that has been going on now for 11 days.
The mush of having the worst cold I can ever remember for far too long.

But today there does seem to be a small light at the end of the tunnel of feeling ill. I actually feel almost normal, given I've still got the hacking cough and the endless headache. But I don't feel bad enough to take any more pain killers. Progress indeed.

I can only be grateful that all of this ridiculous under the weatherness has coincided with a holiday and that I'm not back to work till a week today.

I have zero energy and Christmas happened out of sheer will power. Which I have now given myself permission to let go of, so if I have the wherewithal to do anything, like this morning sorting out the washing then I will do it. But if the energy runs out then I am giving myself permission to sit and stare.

This is almost a New Year's resolution. To allow myself time.Running myself ragged doesn't actually do me any good (Duh!) And I am working on the premise that actually I am old enough now to take care of me properly, however that is.

So lets hear it for being kind to ourselves and caring enough about our selves that we look after our needs properly.

Which means that actually it doesn't matter if the jewel like words don't happen. What matters is I'm okay where I am and that is an important place to be.


Mel said...

Oh Byrdie....

Whaddaya say.......

Sucks to get that sick, that long. But given the sickness last winter, I'm not surprised for this winter's ailment. Dunno how that works, but once that pnemonia settled into my lungs, it made for continued respiratory issues...still...yet..... Sucks. But it is what it is. And I like how your brain has sorted it through.

It just IS what it is....you and I will get to deal and do the best we can to take care of ourselves. *ughhhhhh*

Which is why a basket of toys is a good thing!!!!

Yeah, yeah...got new ones for the holiday and I'm itchin' for an excuse to play with 'em.

Like I need an excuse?! ;-)

Take care of you--like you're doing!

Merry ME said...

Amen, SIster.

I'm sorry to hear that cold has been hanging on. From what I hear it is a bug that grabs and holds on tight. I do hope this day is the beginning of your rapid recovery!

nitebyrd said...

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better and that you still have time off to take care of YOU!

Have a beautiful New Year, Byrd!

Sorrow said...

OH Byrd!
Still not feeling well?
you need to rest! drink some hot honey water ( as I know your love of tea...~smile~)
sending a hug
and some love, The only medicine I have in my apothecary at the moment!

miss*R said...

i have heard that many of you over there in the cold have this dreadful bug that cannot be shaken.. have a foot bath.. hot water, as hot as you can stand it and mustard seeds.. it works, I don't know how xo

it was nice to hear that I am not alone in my feelings at the moment xoxo

nurturing and being kind to oneself is important yes.. I am doing more of it next year.. and also going to try my hardest to live in the present moment xoxo
love you Pix xo

Paula said...

So sorry. Wish I could layer you in love and warmth. Paula xxx

Dragonfly Dreams said...

Fire, so sorry to hear that darned cold just won't leave you alone. However, take heart as slowly but surely you are booting it right out the door!

Also, it always surprises me when your words are the same ones that are waiting to take flight from my own heart. Time to take care of "us" isn't it?

GaynorB said...

Well said (or written).
Make sure that this one resolution that you keep!
Happy New Year and hope the cold continues to improve.

Marilyn said...

So sorry that you have been so ill for so long ....but I love what you have written, so very well written. A great resolution indeed.

karen said...

Oh no! I replied to your pre Christmas email before coming on here and checking up on you.. so sorry to hear that cold is lasting sooo long.

That new years resolution sounds like a good one, and it applies to so many of us these days!

Hope you feel 100% very very soon!

Beatnheart said...

Those words are jewels and big giant chocolate diamonds at that. Anyone who visits here knows how beautiful you write and what glorious photos you take. It’s loving the down and out Byrd that lifts us up beyond observers and puts us smack dab into your life. I like what I see Byrd, warts and all...I think colds are cleansing. gunk has built up in your temple and its time to clean it out. How symbolic that it is happening at Christmas time. It’s telling you just what you said, time for you...and not for what you are “suppose to do”...love ya Mandy...better days ahead...

Beatnheart said...

Feelin better? Happy New Year sweet fire Byrd!! Maybe we’ll meet in the real world ...