Thursday, 30 September 2010
Talk to the bears
These five friends live in the basket on my bedroom floor. They are quite comfy as they sit on one of the cot blankets I have from when my sons were babies.
They have been in my life since I was born, well at least Essel Teddy has, who is the small bear given to me the day I was born. The only other one with a name outside of Teddy, Rabbit and Penguin is my beloved Smokey Joe.
Smokey Joe is a little grey cat who used to have ears and fur and even a squeak. And everywhere I went she came too! All photographs of me up to the age of about 6 she is clutched in my arms. She, along with a later addition called Jells are to come with me when I go on my final journey, so I'm not lonely.
Cause I'm never lonely when I have a friend to talk to. And sometimes if there aren't any human ones around and Miss Trix isn't listening then my old bears will always listen. They are collectively and individually extremely good at hugging me when I'm upset and crying.Although the ones in the photograph are so fragile they have all retired form active care. So the bears that sit by my bed are the ones that do the work nowadays
And a few years back when I lived in a place with no heating and my husband had walked out on me all those lovely bears all cuddled around me in bed to get me warm enough to go to sleep at night.And to listen to my broken heart.
When I travel there are two little bears who fit into the palm of my hand who have looked after me on more than one occasion when I've been isolated and stuck at an airport say. Even if I can't hold them cause I'm supposed to be a grown up(!) then I'll open my bag just to have a look at them and they'll send me some of their bear strength to help me hold it together.
Cause the thing I've learnt over the years is it's easy to do things as long as you have support. And the life I lead is one where the things are more often than not done on my own. So having a friend, however small is vital.
It all goes back to when we were tiny and Mummy or Daddy would tuck us in our cots and beds and pop a friend down the bed next to us to help keep us safe whilst they went downstairs for the evening.
I suggest to my clients that they all need bears ( or rabbits, cats,any fluffy toy as long as it has an understanding face) Cause when I'm trying to get them to learn to deal with their feelings in a healthier way than keeping them in and getting depressed, they need support when they let go of the bad stuff.
If I had my way there would be no more anti-depressants. People would be prescribed punch bags and bears. Cause learning to let go of rage by beating hell out of a punch bag is wonderfully liberating. And having a friend who will listen endlessly to our sorrow without getting bored, or commenting, and being there to give a hug and mop up the tears is what everyone needs. And the only thing I know that will do all those tasks without question is a friendly bear. Cause friends and family only have so much tolerance to our repeated stories. Our real pets wander off, but a bear sticks around for as long as he is held.
So what do you use in the dark of the night to listen to your pain?