Friday, 16 July 2010

An explanation

Please, please, please understand this is not to do with the number of comments I get.I got into a place of feeling sorry for myself and knew that I couldn'tkeep doing this to myself as it's counter productive to wellbeing!
This is to do with the feelings inside me related to my childhood on the one hand and on the other my loneliness as a human being. And however hard I try and overcome it sometimes I just get jealous of other people.
I know that is not a nice quality but it is one I have now and then. I know it is not logical but emotions aren't.
I have wonderful friends both in real life and here. What I don't have is a local network where I live.I only have a lovely couple I see once a week for walks
I spend too long here, and one of the reasons that has been because I've been trying to leave here and move closer to some of my friends. I have put no effort into living here in the last couple of years for various reasons.
However now I've had to take my house off the market due to complete lack of viewers. So I have to make the decision to be part of where I live in the immediate future. And this is difficult because I don't much like here.
So I'm working on being grateful for what I do have, lovely house, good job, and all the the things that are good about here.
And I know that with my using blogger as my social network I won't improve the living conditions. So yesterday when I had a bout of feeling sorry for myself I made the decision it's time to move back into the real world. And to spend the next few weeks trying to find that locally.
That said because I love my blog so much, I think it's pretty, I have decided to keep it as a photo blog of my pictures. So that I can keep firebyrd going and be part of beautiful world.But first my holiday.
If I decide I want a place to write I will start another blog in due course.


Cait O'Connor said...

I missed your previous post but must say that if you go your blogs will be missed and I hope you return soon and are able to mix them with your other pursuits. I often forget that people don't always leave comments but it doesn't mean they are not visiting and reading your words.
Very best wishes,

Lyn said...

Mandy - I feel badly that you are going through such a lonely time. I have been away and thus neglectful. I love your photos and look forward to seeing more -- and when you are ready, I will be there to follow your new blog. Hugs. Lyn

Marilyn said...

So pleased that you wrote again, I am new to blogging but your's is one that really caught my eye. I wish you well always and will look forward to your photos being posted and hope that I will be able to follow any new blog you start.
Take care, I send you my very best wishes.

miss*R said...

I think that we must treat blogging as if it were in our 'real' life.. we don't see our friends daily.. or talk to them every day on the phone.. so just post as you feel the need.. your friends will stop by and comment.. and in real life no one has 475 friends.. xoxo

Dragonfly Dreams said...

Please remember that you have a network of readers here who love your words, so take your time in your foray out and we will wait for you to visit us again!

janis said...

I Miss You! I totally get it though, I seem to be having "real" friend trouble lately. I think now that I have Blog friends, my expectations went up. Maybe you could jsut scale back on writing??? I miss so much of your writing. BUT~ I do love your photo talent as well. If you need this break, I respect & support you. However, if you just move to Indiana, USA, we can be Blog friends & real friends that go out for lunch!
Love to you always.

Jose said...

Well, a blog should really be a daily account of our life. Another thing is that there are people who are entitled to peep in and see how you do, but in my opinion that's not the reason to keep a blog: it's just keep an open record of what you see and how you think of it.

TALON said...

Mandy, I hope that the time you now invest (after your trip) in your local neighborhood rewards you with great returns. Maybe the universe has a few wonderful surprises in store for you!

nitebyrd said...

It is pretty. Your photographs are always just beautiful. That's not to discount your words - they are also worth taking the time to read.

Hey! No worries! Everyone has a right to feel sorry for themselves at times. I told someone else that you can be lonely in a room full of people but even if you have one true friend, you're never alone.

Anonymous said...

*sniff* you'll still check ur mail though wont u?


karen said...

I am often without time or internet access for a week or so, but always come back to catch up! Even if I don't manage to write a comment on every post, I am still always reading your words!
Can completely understand if you want to evolve or change your blog. Life is always changing, and blogs can too.. whatever you decide, seems there are lots of us who support you! In the meantime, enjoy That Porch x