Monday, 28 September 2009
I've got a purple leg!
Well you knew it was coming..... That once I'd had to confront my fears I'd be able to use my knowledge.
What has been really strange has been to have been in the grip of fear.
Ever since Friday the fear had been building, till it reached a crescendo on Sunday morning.
And then after talking with my sons later on in the day I got a bit more of a hold on it.
But last night in bed I really had to clear my mind and not allow myself to get lost in a maze of worry about today.
All of the worry has been focused on going to the fracture clinic. And coping with what that throw at me...... would I be there on time, yes. Would there be a wheel chair to take me up the corridor, yes.Could I go to the bathroom before my friend wheeling me to the clinic left me, yes. Would I have to wait for hours, no, got seen within an hour. What would be the decision about my foot, especially as dealing with the crutches has been extremely wearing and I've been getting increasing pain under the arm that has no lymph nodes. Which in turn was making me fear lymphodema starting. So a walking plaster for four weeks was the answer.
Could I use my crutches back down the corridor to the plaster room, no choice really!
Then a surprising question what colour plaster did I want, well dahrlings there is only one colour to be seen in this season and that's purple!!!
Then could I walk back to the clinic to make an appointment to have the plaster removed in four weeks, again no choice, but I was getting tired.
No phone signal, so back on the bloody crutches all the way back down the corridor to the outside world to call Alex to fetch me. And back to the clinic to sit down as that was the closest seat. Get to the chairs and collapse exhausted.
Enter lady with trolley with goodies, a pack of cheese and onion crisps (chips) and a can of coke worked wonders.
Half an hour later to same terrible walk back down corridor to await chauffeur driven chariot home, well actually to complete the junk food fest McDonald's. I do hate them but it filled a space in my empty stomach.
Home at 1pm plaster totally dry by 1.15 .... result walking! it does hurt a little, but only in one place and all the other battered bits can now recover!
And as for fear.... what fear???
It is astonishing that as we actually have to do the things that previously frightened us they no longer do.
Yes I am exhausted but that is not surprising, and so I'm going to treat myself to my first walk upstairs for a few days and I'm going to bed for an hour, cause I can!
The colour in the photo doesn't look very purple, but it is, and once I've got my matching purple leather jacket on, watch me go!
But just before I go for this trek up the everest of stairs, I'd like to say thank you for your fantastic support and cherishing over the last few days. I have felt held and loved, and it has had an impact on me and I will email soon, well when I've had a sleep or two!