Monday, 28 September 2009

I've got a purple leg!


Well you knew it was coming..... That once I'd had to confront my fears I'd be able to use my knowledge.
What has been really strange has been to have been in the grip of fear.
Ever since Friday the fear had been building, till it reached a crescendo on Sunday morning.
And then after talking with my sons later on in the day I got a bit more of a hold on it.
But last night in bed I really had to clear my mind and not allow myself to get lost in a maze of worry about today.
All of the worry has been focused on going to the fracture clinic. And coping with what that throw at me...... would I be there on time, yes. Would there be a wheel chair to take me up the corridor, yes.Could I go to the bathroom before my friend wheeling me to the clinic left me, yes. Would I have to wait for hours, no, got seen within an hour. What would be the decision about my foot, especially as dealing with the crutches has been extremely wearing and I've been getting increasing pain under the arm that has no lymph nodes. Which in turn was making me fear lymphodema starting. So a walking plaster for four weeks was the answer.
Could I use my crutches back down the corridor to the plaster room, no choice really!
Then a surprising question what colour plaster did I want, well dahrlings there is only one colour to be seen in this season and that's purple!!!
Then could I walk back to the clinic to make an appointment to have the plaster removed in four weeks, again no choice, but I was getting tired.
No phone signal, so back on the bloody crutches all the way back down the corridor to the outside world to call Alex to fetch me. And back to the clinic to sit down as that was the closest seat. Get to the chairs and collapse exhausted.
Enter lady with trolley with goodies, a pack of cheese and onion crisps (chips) and a can of coke worked wonders.
Half an hour later to same terrible walk back down corridor to await chauffeur driven chariot home, well actually to complete the junk food fest McDonald's. I do hate them but it filled a space in my empty stomach.
Home at 1pm plaster totally dry by 1.15 .... result walking! it does hurt a little, but only in one place and all the other battered bits can now recover!
And as for fear.... what fear???
It is astonishing that as we actually have to do the things that previously frightened us they no longer do.
Yes I am exhausted but that is not surprising, and so I'm going to treat myself to my first walk upstairs for a few days and I'm going to bed for an hour, cause I can!
The colour in the photo doesn't look very purple, but it is, and once I've got my matching purple leather jacket on, watch me go!
But just before I go for this trek up the everest of stairs, I'd like to say thank you for your fantastic support and cherishing over the last few days. I have felt held and loved, and it has had an impact on me and I will email soon, well when I've had a sleep or two!

16 comments:

Sage said...

great result and you sound a little more positive.... love the purple plaster cast.. when I had a cast it was solid and plaster.. not like the modern ones today.. take it easy you don't want to be overdoing it..

Gin said...

I love it!!!! Beautiful choice my friend!

Paula said...

Wow, for sure purple ;-)))Happy that you feel a bit better. So happy to hear. Hugs

Angela said...

I never had such a pretty leg!
Have a good sleep, make yourself a cup of wonderful hot water in a matching cup with saucer, and you`ll be all set!
Sending you smiles!

Merry ME said...

Byrd,
I am in total agreement with your color choice. Especially since you have a matching leather jacket.

Sorry you had to maneuver thru all that fear to get to the place you feel comfortable again. Funny how that "F" word sneaks up on us with no warning, then seems to leave the same way.

I am much to far away to plump up your pillows or bring you tea but know I'm there with you in spirit. Hope you have a delightful book to read. As long as you are down, might as well enjoy it!

speck of dust said...

It's horrible what fear and worry does to us!! So glad it went fairly smoothly and you have some positive results and a really funky leg! And like your previous post, hurrah for the NHS and their colour choice plasters!!

Lori ann said...

Yay! a purple cast to heal your foot and your worries! I was so glad to read you are on the mend. Rest and recuperate now Mandy, you'll be good as new soon.

Rach said...

How can you not feel better looking at a beautiful bright purple pot, happy online shopping and just remember pot or not you still have to rest it....take care xxxx

Linda - Gold Coast said...

Great colour. So pleased to hear fearless Mandy is back. Catch you later Sleeping Beauty. Linda xoxo

swallowtail said...

Oh FireByrd! I am so sorry that I haven't been around blogland, neglecting my usual rounds. And look here.. you have gone through all of this! Good news though (sorry to sound so perky!), you are on the mend, with a beautiful purple cast! You are also doing the important work of looking-in-the-eye of your storm of fears... and this is the deep healing. The purple is a moment-to-moment celebration of your incredible strength and spirit.

And if I were closer, you'd have cake, too.
xoxoLC

Pam said...

Yay Mandy! Go the purple! Your toes look snuggly, your leg looks comfortably rested, and it looks like you have some good books to read lurking in that bookcase.Take care brave lady - you're a special partially-perambulating probationary purple-plastered patient who's doing real well!*hug*hug*

karen said...

Cool purple lady, good to hear you sounding a bit more cheerful! I've been there myself, in a similar(ish)situation, though I was lucky enough to have my sister move in and look after me! Those who are near to you will hopefully understand the need to express frustration and fear from time to time! x

nitebyrd said...

The purple is lovely and a walking cast is brilliant! How nice when your fears are so much littler than expected.

Glad you're doing better.

Angela Recada said...

I love the purple! Terrific choice. I'm happy to hear that you are feeling better about things again.
:0)

Mel said...

(-: Very pretty!

And yeah for walking casts!!!

WPIML tells me the way to get to the other side of fear is to walk through it--and how do we walk through fear?....@#$%ing scared!! But we do get to the other side that way, eh?

((((((( the byrdie ))))))))
It's a GREAT colour!! :-)

kj said...

my very first visit to your blog, fire byrd, was about your fear. now i can see you have faced it and you are doing okay. i think that is rightly cool! (i made that term up)

congratulations.
xo