Tuesday, 10 March 2009
LIGHT AND JOY, WHO'D SWAP IT
I still need votes, I'm still in third place, the school still needs a roof, you can vote every 24 hours. Nag over!
I wanted to write about more stuff related to self hate, with particular reference to dealing with the affects of being bullied.
But not sure whether it's the sort of stuff I should put on this blog. Now I know I can write what I want. But I have this mad desire to have readers of my blog as well!
So have you any views, or for that matter any psychological thing that you would like to read about. I almost feel like I could turn into some kind of mad agony aunt here, where you email me the question and I write the answer on my blog!!!!
Strangely, today at work I was almost quoting the item I wrote over the weekend about the cliffs to a client. So I think my best use of it, is to copy it and give it out as a handout.
I often give out pieces of paper... and sometimes they even have writing on them!!!!My three most used are the Nelson Mandela inaugural speech. The poem by Robert Frost, called the Road less Travelled, and a list of basic human rights.
I dish these out endlessly when I want people to know that they can stop being frightened, do have choices and have the same rights as others around them.
The flip side for me of all of this, and this is particularly true now I'm doing my two full time therapy days one after another is, it is exhausting. It is exhausting trying to sell people self belief. To hold people in that place where they can learn to accept themselves. To learn to love themselves.
In fact yesterday I did something I've never done before in 25 years as a therapist. I bet a client a £5 bunch of flowers that in 12 sessions they will learn to like them self. The client bet me a £5 bunch of flowers that I wouldn't succeed. I think it's a no brainer, cause by the time the first hour had been spent together the client left feeling lighter inside than they had ever before.
I, as you know love my job, I love the idea of giving hope to people. Although it isn't me that gives them hope, it's them. Okay I expand a fearsome amount of energy in helping them understand that they can change. I love that someone comes into see me for the first time, with all the pain and anguish they have been carrying for as long as. And through talking some to me, but more often, me talking to them and explaining why they feel as they do, I can see a light come in inside them, a small flickering candle, or a full on beacon. Doesn't matter whatever it is, the joy I get from knowing that whatever happens to the person in the future, they cannot unlearn what they will have learnt in therapy with me, and that, that has made a difference to the quality of their life, is nothing short of astounding to me.
What of course so ironic, is that for all my skills I still manage to screw myself up in knots..... Difference is for me, is that even though I go to the place of self hate, or whatever I don't stay there long. Cause I make myself do the things I ask my clients do, I let go of my pain. Whether I do that in crying or screaming or telling my friends, I do it. Not for me the pain of depression or long term anxiety or alcoholism. Watched my parents have those, certainly don't need to take any of those on board for myself.
Which is of course why I do what I do.... grow up watching people you love suffer and it certainly gives your the impetuous to help others!
The photographs were taken in the Roaches last week on a walk in the spring sunshine.
PS Just got this from today@dailyOM.com
And thought it ties in so well with both the last two posts. It really is a great site to have come in your mail box every morning.Check it out if you like inspirational words to start your day.
Many of us have do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power.
In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power.
Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being.