Tuesday, 24 February 2009
A WHITER SHADE OF PALE LED ME HERE.
I was listening to the radio on the way home today, and they were playing the songs of someones life.
Whomever it was, must have been a similar age to me, as a lot of her songs resonated with me. It go me thinking how, for me the year I was 14 was probably the zenith of music being utterly important. There are songs from this year, which was 1968, that when I hear them now take me back to that time. There are five imparticular which remain, even now favourite pieces of music. Back in the day, these were the ones that got played over and over again on my record player in my bedroom, usually with me sitting on the windowsill, with the curtains closed grooving along to them.
Cause I know you're now desperate to know what they are......
Albatross.... Fleetwood Mac
All you need is love.... The Beatles
San Fransisco.... Scott McKenzie
Good Vibrations ... The Beach Boys
Time is Tight.... Booker T and the MGS
I had the four famous Beatles posters on my wall, although I only had eyes for George Harrison. I had a poster of Andy Fairweather Lowe, out of Amen Corner. I had loads of bits of magazines cut out with words like groovy and fab stuck on a montage.
I adored comics and magazines, Jackie, Honey and Petticoat being the ones from this era. I still can tell you what comic I read from the first when I was 8, to the magazines I read today. I loved knowing what was fashionable, still do. Although now I go for a more classic look, than high fashion!! I had the first three years worth of Cosmopolitan magazines in my wardrobe for a very long time, what they would be worth today!
For the next couple of years I wore, either men's trousers with pinafore tops and bare feet, or long hippy dresses, that I would buy in a Boutique called Bus Stop in Birmingham.
I remember going to Walsall Town Hall to see Emperor Rosco one of the first Radio 1 DJs... I wore an extremely short green tweed skirt, knee high white socks and my maxi herringbone coat, also pale green.... Did I think I looked good!
Like music, clothes have always been really important to me, I can remember clothes all the way back to being a tiny tot. But my teenage clothes were just so cutting edge, well at least they were in Walsall, as I always shopped in Birmingham. When I'd learnt to drive I used to take myself of to Shrewsbury where the nearest Laura Ashley was. Oh, that was a treat getting her floral frocks to drip around in.
I went to my first ever pop concert at the Odeon with my best friend Max (the one I got reunited with last year after 28 years!) Can't remember what I wore, but know the Beach Boys had blue and white stripped shirts on!
Writing this makes me very aware of how even then, I was more independent than people around me (except Max) The day after I passed my driving test, I took myself on to the motorway just to get familiar with it, so I could go places and do things on my own.
Even when I was relatively young, when I took myself shopping in whichever place I ended up, I would always go and find somewhere to have lunch on my own. As it seemed important even then, to be able to sit and have a decent meal in unrushed surroundings. I didn't like shopping with anyone else then, so nothings changed there.
It has always been vital to be able to cope on my own, even though I haven't always liked it. That's not the point. The point is not to be frightened of doing things.
Although weirdly I can go out to dinner in the evening on my own (well in America!). I can do lunch and breakfast anywhere. I can go to the theatre alone, but I have never yet been to the cinema on my own.... maybe that's a challenge for this year. After all I have to do something, and last years was learning to sail, so.....
I'm very mindful of the juxtaposition (seriously love that word) of my needing to be on my own and sometimes hating it with a vengeance. And the other side of the coin of being very sociable and hating being amongst people for any great length of time, especially places where I have to do small talk. Doesn't happen, I hide in the kitchen at parties, even my own!!!
So going full circle back to my youth, and I'm going to have to really think about this,when did I learn to be so independent and capable, juxtaposed with scared and lonely. Cause it all started there, and if I want to change it, then I have to go back to those memories and undo them, cause right now I think it's damaging me a bit.I have wonderful and amazing friendships, all with people who live miles away from me. So I can get to visit with them. And I have no friendships where I live. (Admittedly I used to, but I have let them go... think ironing board conversations and stepford wives!!!) And I need to think about how that is affecting me.
Please don't think this is a 'beating myself up' post it isn't, I'm ok. But I've started a chain reaction in looking at a part of my history that I haven't for a while, all thanks to hearing Procol Harem on the radio this afternoon!!!
Pic is Max on the beach with her beloved dog, at Exmouth last visit I made.