Saturday, 4 October 2008


Today I have walked 10 fairly gruelling miles in the company of the very funny Trousers. And when I had the breath I spent the day laughing.

We walked in the Goyt Valley in the Peak Park, we set off to climb up this hill to a place called Shining Tor, but I found it to tough going, so we went back down the hill and walked round Erwood reservoir. Which was still up and down dale but not quite so horrendous.The weather was very blowy and wet, but it didn't matter, we just got on with it.

The scenery was astonishing despite the terrible weather, the colours of autumn just wonderful. The sort of walk that just makes you glad to be alive.

My little sister has just text me telling me she's sad, and for a moment I had to think why she would be. Today is the anniversary of my Dad's death, he died 5 years ago.

And today I didn't have time to get sad, or want to be sad. The last few weeks have exhausted me emotionally, and I'm just so pleased to have had the day to appreciate my surroundings, and the company, and to feel despite it being Dad's anniversary that it's ok to feel good. Cause I don't think he'd mind one bit. I think he'd just be amazed as to where I am on my journey compared to five years ago. And be proud of what I've achieved and coped with.

So I'm going to treat myself to an Amaretto on the rocks and say cheers to my Dad and say thank you to him for being the Dad he was, and for the years I had him in my life.


trousers said...

Fantastic day - and I'm glad you used the word funny as opposed to (on the more polite end of the scale) a bit odd :)

Greatly enjoyed it, even including ending up smelling of Eau de Pond...

How poignant, your realisation later on, but how good to have spent the day in the here and now: if I may, I shall raise a glass to your Dad too.


bradan said...

I grew up not far from the Goyt Valley, the places you mention are very familiar. Glad you enjoyed your day and that you weren't too sad thinking about your Dad. xx

Annie Wan said...

kofi (my dog) constantly smells of pond after walks so i know exactly what you both smelled like today. hmm!

Withy Brook said...

So glad that you were able to remember your Dad without any guilt at laughing today. How pleased he would be that you have reached where you now are. Of course we miss people - I miss my Dad off and on and he went 35 years ago and my Mum who left us 15years ago, but not with sadness - just 'missing'

CAMILLA said...

Lovely photo's Firebyrd,

I am pleased you enjoyed your day, and that it was not too sad thinking about your Dad.

I have lost a lot of friends over the years, and my dear Mother thirty one years ago, still miss her dreadfully, but can remember the fond memories which helps me to get through from day to day.


mountainear said...

Good to get out into wild clean spaces and breathe in some fresh air - and feel the rain on your face. The Goyt Valley is a pretty good breathing space.

Enjoy that Amaretto. Cheers.

Val said...

Goyt Valley hey? sounds heavenly. and the lovely Trousers... what a tonic and a way to celebrate your Dad's memory with joy in life.

Grouse said...

Know the area well......its where they released the Black Grouse that ended up here. Beautiful.

Mel said...

OH my.....

I'm gonna go have another wander about through the photos and just enjoy the view......

*happy sigh*

What a honourable journey you've made......

Sorrow said...

some how I think you do your best relaxing in the places and spaces of nature.
I shall have a toast to your pop, for the glorious gifts he has given the world, mostly in the gem of a gal we all have in you!

Fire Byrd said...

Glad you feel the same way I do about the day Trousers. I really enjoyed, well after I admitted it was a bad plan to try and kill myself up that hill at least!

braden, welcome you do still live in the area? it is a very beautu=iful part of the country. I will miss the particular scenery of round here.

mei, it was only trousers that smelt, I was as befitting a lady as sweet as a rose.... LOL

withy, such wise words, you're right it does get down to a 'missing' rather than active sadness, thanks for these words.

camilla, welcome. I know what you mean my mum died 22 years ago and I still think about both my parents a lot.

mountainear, they were defianeltly open spaces where we were, there was an enormous lot of nothing about us.

val, you are quite right, celebrating being alive with a good friend and acknowledging my Dad made the day right somehow.

grouse, welcome, must have been quite close to you then. It is a stunning area, if a bit bleak. I used to live in the Roaches and they were something else in the winter.

mel, I've changed my theme as well. seemed a good time toput pictures of my garden flowers up before we reach the depths of winter.

sorrow, that is just a lovely thing to say, thank you. I am blessed with your friendship.

jiggins said...

I think that day was exactly what you needed. Im sure your Father was there enjoying it with you. When people we love pass on, it sucks.. but I always recall that line from the Dark Crystal when i think about stuff like that...

"Where is he?" "
"He's dead.."
"Could be anywhere then..."

Not meant to be insensitive, only to relate how I feel about it.. When my Grandfather passed on my Mother's side, I knew he was around even more than ever.. it's a comfort. And in the end, you had a great day with special company and extraordinary scenery. (I live in the desert so yea, extraordinary:)

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I'm so behind on posts after just a few days away from blogging-but I'm glad you spent such a lovely day on your Dad's anniversary. I'm also hoping you're ok after all three incidents lately. Hugs BG x

Ronjazz said...

It's always good to push your spirit into that "Okay, I've made it this far" mode. It's refreshing and cleansing at the same time.

Tell me, honey, is that your photographic eye when we see pics here? You are quite good! We can see the emotion of the moment through your eyes very comfortably.

Middle Ditch said...

What a wonderful way to celebrate your father's life.

The scenery is just great.

Fire Byrd said...

jiggins, those words work for me, so thanks for them.

bg I was wondering where you'd gone, hope your ok.

ron, yep it's all my own work and mainly on my phone that the pica are taken

md it was a good way to celebrate his life, even though whilst I was walking I didn't remember it was 'the day' but that's ok.