Sunday, 21 September 2008

WE GET THE KIDS WE DESERVE???? part 2


This post will contain a lot of swear words, be warned.


My youngest son is a tough cookie, he always has been. Having been brought up with his two cousins and an older brother he came out fighting for his place in the pecking order. When he was very small he would get furious if he was told he was a baby, and would always demand to be referred to as a big boy!

He has had no male roll model to speak of, outside of his brother,who is 5 years older, for the last 11 years. As brothers they get on really well, and I think that is because my eldest has never taken on the roll of father figure to his sibling.

This has meant that my youngest, has been very selective about who he trusts and respects. And top of his list, outside of me and his brother, are his mates. These mates generally are a couple of years older than him with the occasional younger one slipped in for good measure. The bond that he has with his mates is very strong, and he will defend them at whatever cost to himself.

He is belligerent and angry. He is opinionated and arrogant. He is also extremely kind, gentle and considerate. He is very witty and a great conversationalist. But for this post the nice qualities aren't important.

Last night after a fantastic day out at a concert against racism, held in the same town as a BMP march was organised..... (I won't even go there, I may just get too angry myself).He and 5 friends ended up at a local cricket club to have a pint and to play pool.

He and one of his friends were on the pool table when two, approx 40 year old, men started to challenge them to have a game for money and then to generally try and intimidate them. Well my son does not intimidate, he stood up for himself, and wouldn't leave the bar without finishing his game or his pint. By this time other 40 yr olds had got involved and one inparticular wanted a fight by himself with my son and his mate. Both these lads are 17. All of this dialogue took place with a huge amount of verbal aggression and all sides.

They went outside, only for my youngest to be jumped on by one of the two original men. My son punched back, then he punched again and on the third punch he knocked the man trying to hold him downs' tooth out. And frankly at this point in the story, me as a very peace loving person, feels like congratulating my son.

His captor let him go and son saw his mate who had been playing pool with being set on by three grown men. He knew he had to help his mate, he also knew he couldn't fight off three grown men. So he picked up a flowerpot and smacked one of the men with it.

This resulted in around 10 grown men beating up my son. They got him to the ground and started kicking him in the head and neck. By this time all his mates were trying to pull these fucking bastard grown men off my son.

Eventually when they felt they'd kicked him enough it was over. My son went to hospital. He sent me a text telling me not to contact him and that he was ok. Which I didn't get, as phone was downstairs, for which I'm thankful!

And he returned home around 3.30 this morning, he has a terrible black eye, his face is swollen, his neck is lacerated and bruised, he's broken a knuckle. And he sat on my bed and told me all of this. He was shocked and angry as I was.

It's one thing for my son and his mates to get into scraps, it's their age and testosterone levels! But for men of 40 to think that it is acceptable to beat up two 17 year olds just because they wanted to finish their game and drink in peace I think is bloody outrageous.

My son's friends have been texting him all night, and have been phoning me up to see how he is. As he is asleep and minus his phone as he needs the rest.
I have been up on the hour checking to see if he is OK and have fed him pain killers.

I am almost beyond words I'm so incandescent with rage.... mother lion or what here!
That my son, who has just been taught to stand up for himself and not be frightened of others, to be assertive,and to believe in human rights has had to put up with this shit, he has been taught to respect people. But for him this respect is only given out when people earn it.

I know my son is no little angel, he is the complete opposite of his peace loving brother. I know he and I fall out at a moments notice. I know he is an angry young man. But no-one has the rights these men gave themselves, to try and teach him a lesson last night, no -one!

If I knew who these men were, right now I think I'd go round and beat them up myself, for thinking their behaviour is acceptable. WANKERS! BASTARDS! FUCKING ARSEHOLES! YELLOW BELLIED FUCKERS! TOSSERS! JERKS! Oh,I could go on, but perhaps best to stop!

I want my son to grow up, to find a peace within him, as he has spent so much of his life battling, but being treated in this way doesn't offer much hope for him to get that way. I know he will wake up angry today, and I know that actually for once I agree whole heartedly with his anger. But I will have to be the voice of reason, as thinking of getting an eye for eye, which is where his thinking will go, is not the direction to go in. Which if I'm not careful will end up in us having a row that will ruin both of our day.

22 comments:

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

Tell you what.

I have 1/2 the airfare set aside... it was for xmas, but hell, I'm willing.

I will be your "lioness' right hand (and I have a mean right hook... or so I hear *grinning madly*)

Fuckers.

My hair is standing tall on the back of my neck and I am dashing these grown men... and hugging you... and kissing the young one between the brows.

Justice.
Karma.

I have faith they will rue this day.

Love to you, Goddess.

Fire Byrd said...

Pixie, what a wonderful offer, thank you so much. I can't tell you what it meant to me to get your lovely supportive words.
love xxx

The Dotterel said...

Are there witnesses? It is worth taking the bastards to court?

soul pumpkin said...

i'll drive ya to the airport, Pixie...and come along myself, and help you lash these miserable shites...they should all be locked up for assault...

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Oh my God, Fire byrd! That is so scary. What is it with men (and some women?) This happens on a weekly basis in a town near us (though not with 40 year old men, but I think some are in their 30s). It must be a territorial thing, the human equivalent of them cocking their legs and peeing everywhere.

Faith said...

Heard of this type of thing before... not that that helps you and your son. Thank God he wasn't hurt worse. Lucky you don't know who they are - no point going to prison over it. I hope your son recovers fast.

Fire Byrd said...

Son wouldn't press charges Tim, as doesn't want to get into a back and forth game with them.

Soul Pumpkin, we'll get a posse up and drive the bad guys outta town!

wake up I feel old when this sort of thing happens, it's so far out of my understanding.

Faith, this afternoon it is evident how badly injured he is. The one side of his face is completly swollen. He can't clench his teeth, so he can't eat.He has a bruise coming from his ear to his chin. There is a footprint on his neck. And the back of his neck has the indentations that his chain has made round his neck when his head was on the pavement and he was being stamped on.

Val said...

oh my word- this is so bad. I know there are some people who go out looking for a fight - the night is not complete withoutit. But how to deal with this kind of attack? its a rite of passage for your son too and important how you both deal with this.
Any point in approaching the owner of the bar/pool joint? writing to your local paper so other kids are more wary of that place?
What a brave, loyal lad you have.
hope his wounds heal. I'd be mad as a snake too. thinking of you x

Val said...

you should get an xray done x

Fire Byrd said...

Thanks Val, he did go to hospital.
It's now just letting the bruises come out.
He's fine, and dealing with it all in his own particularly grumpy fashion!!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Goodness, I've only just read this, thinking about you both, hugs BG x

trousers said...

Oh bloody hell.

Give him my best regards, and the very same to you too.

This sort of thing makes me SO angry. Good on him for not being walked all over.

x

But Why? said...

Heck.

I really do wonder how some people end up as they do, thinking it's OK to pick fights where no cause existed.

Hoping your son bounces with much aplomb.

LittleBrownDog said...

I'm so sorry to read this, Fire Byrd - can only imagine how you must feel. It's such a natural, instinctive thing to want to protect our kids from being hurt, and must be so devastating not to be able to. Your son must be very brave, and have a strong sense of right and wrong.

It is truly shocking that people go around behaving like this. Hope he recovers soon.

Polar said...

Christ! What Fucking Douche Bags! I've been to a pool hall or two and do not care for them at all. To many bottles being thrown around. My buddy owns a table. We shoot at his house. We're forty-ish, no fights & all the booze is top shelf. Those clowns may be forty but are still sixteen mentally.
I hope the boy heals up quickly. Vengeance would be a waste. I hope he can let it go. Sorry you all are having to deal with this.

Walker said...

Its a grown up world out there and what happened to your son wasn't right but it happens.

He should have walked away with his mates but at that age the testosterone just drives you to stand up.
Some A-holes who can't handle grown men taking it out on some kids so they feel like men.

I would hunt those bastards all down one by one with my crew and make them pay as soon as I was able to fight again.
It's a guy thing, sorry.

I've been there when I was his age

Hullaballoo said...

That's horrendous and it shouldn't have happened.

It's unfair and so hard to make any sense of it.

I would be a lionness too if anyone harmed my sons. Sounds like you are handling it really well.

I am so sorry.

xx

Ronjazz said...

Honey, being an old pool player myself and after reading all this, my own opinion is that your boy and his friends were set up. They were targeted by a group of men whose sole purposes are 1) to intimidate and do what THEY want to do, and 2) to get cash. When your son stood up, their own collective cache kicked in. This is something all too common in pool halls, bowling alleys, 'social' clubs around the States here. I am convinced that they were singled out from the beginning.

Give your son my best. Ask him to use his macho a little more selectively. You can't stand up to such men by yourself. They don't give a damn, and if your boy had held his paycheck on him, well... the goal for the might would have been satisfied. What you really need are folks who would stand up by identifying thugs like this in court...and that rarely happens.

Fire Byrd said...

Thank you all of those I haven't commented on individually. I've run out of things to say. But I do appreciate your effort in writing
My son is back to his normal self, bar the bruises and swelling! He's eating again so he's happy about that.
BG x
trousers x
but why x
lbd x
polar x
walker x
hulla x
ron x

Trixie said...

Oh gawd, that's just bleeding AWFUL! What a bunch of thugs. I hope somebody came forward and gave names of these guys to the police!

J.J said...

God Pixie - I am SO sorry. And also bloody livid on your and his behalf.

Fire Byrd said...

trix, no police.... al, doesn't want to involve them as it would escualate into a he hit me first sort of row which he doesn't want.

jj, thanks, I've stopped being livid now, as has Al, he's just buisness as normal, ie being my son with attitude!

xx