Sunday, 21 September 2008
WE GET THE KIDS WE DESERVE???? part 2
This post will contain a lot of swear words, be warned.
My youngest son is a tough cookie, he always has been. Having been brought up with his two cousins and an older brother he came out fighting for his place in the pecking order. When he was very small he would get furious if he was told he was a baby, and would always demand to be referred to as a big boy!
He has had no male roll model to speak of, outside of his brother,who is 5 years older, for the last 11 years. As brothers they get on really well, and I think that is because my eldest has never taken on the roll of father figure to his sibling.
This has meant that my youngest, has been very selective about who he trusts and respects. And top of his list, outside of me and his brother, are his mates. These mates generally are a couple of years older than him with the occasional younger one slipped in for good measure. The bond that he has with his mates is very strong, and he will defend them at whatever cost to himself.
He is belligerent and angry. He is opinionated and arrogant. He is also extremely kind, gentle and considerate. He is very witty and a great conversationalist. But for this post the nice qualities aren't important.
Last night after a fantastic day out at a concert against racism, held in the same town as a BMP march was organised..... (I won't even go there, I may just get too angry myself).He and 5 friends ended up at a local cricket club to have a pint and to play pool.
He and one of his friends were on the pool table when two, approx 40 year old, men started to challenge them to have a game for money and then to generally try and intimidate them. Well my son does not intimidate, he stood up for himself, and wouldn't leave the bar without finishing his game or his pint. By this time other 40 yr olds had got involved and one inparticular wanted a fight by himself with my son and his mate. Both these lads are 17. All of this dialogue took place with a huge amount of verbal aggression and all sides.
They went outside, only for my youngest to be jumped on by one of the two original men. My son punched back, then he punched again and on the third punch he knocked the man trying to hold him downs' tooth out. And frankly at this point in the story, me as a very peace loving person, feels like congratulating my son.
His captor let him go and son saw his mate who had been playing pool with being set on by three grown men. He knew he had to help his mate, he also knew he couldn't fight off three grown men. So he picked up a flowerpot and smacked one of the men with it.
This resulted in around 10 grown men beating up my son. They got him to the ground and started kicking him in the head and neck. By this time all his mates were trying to pull these fucking bastard grown men off my son.
Eventually when they felt they'd kicked him enough it was over. My son went to hospital. He sent me a text telling me not to contact him and that he was ok. Which I didn't get, as phone was downstairs, for which I'm thankful!
And he returned home around 3.30 this morning, he has a terrible black eye, his face is swollen, his neck is lacerated and bruised, he's broken a knuckle. And he sat on my bed and told me all of this. He was shocked and angry as I was.
It's one thing for my son and his mates to get into scraps, it's their age and testosterone levels! But for men of 40 to think that it is acceptable to beat up two 17 year olds just because they wanted to finish their game and drink in peace I think is bloody outrageous.
My son's friends have been texting him all night, and have been phoning me up to see how he is. As he is asleep and minus his phone as he needs the rest.
I have been up on the hour checking to see if he is OK and have fed him pain killers.
I am almost beyond words I'm so incandescent with rage.... mother lion or what here!
That my son, who has just been taught to stand up for himself and not be frightened of others, to be assertive,and to believe in human rights has had to put up with this shit, he has been taught to respect people. But for him this respect is only given out when people earn it.
I know my son is no little angel, he is the complete opposite of his peace loving brother. I know he and I fall out at a moments notice. I know he is an angry young man. But no-one has the rights these men gave themselves, to try and teach him a lesson last night, no -one!
If I knew who these men were, right now I think I'd go round and beat them up myself, for thinking their behaviour is acceptable. WANKERS! BASTARDS! FUCKING ARSEHOLES! YELLOW BELLIED FUCKERS! TOSSERS! JERKS! Oh,I could go on, but perhaps best to stop!
I want my son to grow up, to find a peace within him, as he has spent so much of his life battling, but being treated in this way doesn't offer much hope for him to get that way. I know he will wake up angry today, and I know that actually for once I agree whole heartedly with his anger. But I will have to be the voice of reason, as thinking of getting an eye for eye, which is where his thinking will go, is not the direction to go in. Which if I'm not careful will end up in us having a row that will ruin both of our day.