Monday, 10 August 2009

work

Today I went to work and all five clients turned up, which at this time of year is unusual.

I listened, I asked questions, I found answers, I offered a different view from the one they were stuck with.

And all the time I wanted to scream..... get a fucking life, stop being so bloody wet, think yourself lucky to have so little to worry about, stop being pathetic, go and annoy someone else, sod off and leave me alone.

But I didn't, I just did my job, forcing my mind to stay focused on their issues. Making myself not blurt out what was going on for me.

After all I've been here before when my own personal pain has been acute and I've carried on with my work. If for no other reason than, no work no pay. And I can't afford for that to happen.

So I've been a good therapist holding tight onto the reins of my humanity, not letting me out for an instance.

But I'm still here and I feel hollow and lost, and there is nothing I can do except let time pass.

12 comments:

Gin said...

I wish I could just reach out and give you a big hug right now. Perhaps that would serve to comfort just a little. Hang in there. We are all out here thinking of you.

trousers said...

Well good for you for being able to focus on other people's issues, that must have taken a lot of strength. Is there somewhere you can go to have a good scream or beat the hell out of some inanimate objects?

Time will indeed pass, and I hope that the worst of all this will too. As Gin rightly says, we're all here thinking of you.

x

Angela Recada said...

Sending you love and hugs and hoping the worst will soon be over for you and your son.

One day at a time.

This, too, shall pass.

These words at times have been all I've had to hold on to. I hope you find what you need to get through this.

I echo Gin and Trousers, we are all out here thinking of you.

Merry ME said...

Ditto, the above.
Sending hugs and love.
A good scream might help! Or a hot shower.
Listen to your own heart the way you do others.

Picsie Chick said...

"But I'm still here and I feel hollow and lost, and there is nothing I can do except let time pass."

And lean on us. Yes, we'll listen, we'll support, we'll be here whenever you need us. We'll help you get through the time that must pass.

Hugs,
~T~

karen said...

I can just add onto what everybody else says.. thinking of you xx

Mel said...

Ohhhhhhhh there's been a time or two....

((((((( the byrdie ))))))))

Work is good--focus at work would be good, too. It always helps me to put mine on the shelf when I show up.

And moments when I'm ready to throddle 'em -- a walk around the building at warp speed.
Throddling isn't allowed. LOL

*HUGE hugs*
Thinkin' of you, praying for you.....

Paula said...

Lots of hugs. Thinking of you. Keep you in my thoughts. tell me if you are up for call this week.

Linda - Gold Coast said...

Time is a great healer FB. What wonderful words of wisdom from your blogging family. Please take good care. Linda xoxo

miss*R said...

standing with you holding your hand as you let time pass... xoxo

(have no idea what is up with blogger... but for some reason it has unsubscribed me to all the blogs I was following.. now I gotta go do it all over again.. weird)

Mel said...

Just thinkin' about ya.....

((((((((( the byrdie )))))))))))))

Pam said...

I'm late to comment, but its never too late for a hug.