Wednesday, 8 July 2009
THE NEW BLACK
Sometimes it is so difficult to know what to write about here. There is both a lot and nothing happening in my life simultaneously.
Now I know that is a double dutch statement, and what I mean by it is, life is filled with a great deal of stress courtesy of my youngest son. Who, when I could take it no more, had the riot read to him at 3am the other morning. Which seems to have shaken him out of his current miasma. Maybe it was my threat to kick him out of my house if he didn't get his act together. Who knows, all I know is right this minute today he's a lot more on track than of recent weeks.
Added to that my health is not up to par right now, I am extremely bone weary and exhausted, which I think is not only stress related, but also to my thyroid levels needing adjusting again. And I've got a problem with my hearing
So these two things are preoccupying me, and at the same time life is ticking along in it's own quiet rhythm, as in work and walking and paying bills and getting food and all the other stuff that goes on in every one's life.
Which means that tomorrow, I can take some time out to gather myself and be kind, if not self indulgent to me! OK there are some errands to run, but they are not going to be done until I have had a leisurely breakfast and a long bath. Then when the chores are done I'm going to sit and read and quite possibly, cause I can, paint my nails red!
I will, if I have the energy write to my friends, and if I haven't the energy I won't and I will not beat myself up either way. I will accept that my energy levels being low are not a sign of my imagined laziness or because I'm not a good enough friend.
If I am to enjoy going out to lunch on Friday with the gorgeous and glamorous Wake- up then I need to look after myself on Thursday. And the same will go for Saturday when an old friend is coming past in her camper van and stopping by for lunch.
So in writing this I'm making a promise to myself, not to beat myself up with guilt because I've hooked into some imagined role I have to fulfill as a friend. A role where I bounce around like Tigger on speed, when at the moment I'm more Eeyoreish, not in the depressed sense, just in terms of being a bit slow and laborious in making any effort.
It took me over two hours to read and comment on my blog roll tonight and that doesn't include the ones that are private that I haven't got round to yet.
All in all it's just as well as my new addiction is iced coffee, which I'm making jugs and jugs of, cause if it wasn't for that,I think I'd have come to a complete stop!!!
Being kind to myself then, is the new black and I heartily recommend it as a way forward.