Wednesday, 28 January 2009
TRANQUILITY VERSUS STRESS
For the last few days I've been overwhelmed with stress and chaos for two reasons.
The first is 'that dog'
She is lovely when just with us, but every time someone comes round she barks her head off and is more ferocious than I would like. Even though she actually is doing nothing more than sitting next to me barking. I start off holding her choke chain whilst she calms down and then slowly let her go so she goes and sniffs whomever is sitting in the room.
What it's proving to me is how fragile my state of mind is at the moment.What I know of her I trust. I know she would defend me. I know she trusts me. But what I have to remember is she is a rescue dog whose history I don't know. And she is an Alsatian.
Both of which can make it uneasy at times when I have to be top dog by making sure she knows I'm boss.
So I'm going along feeling I've got her measure when suddenly something twitches her and she is not the dog I've assumed she is. So far nothing has been totally unmanageable. And I'm not living in a state of fear at all. Just when whatever happens,happens it makes the adrenalin zoom round my body at great speed and takes time to regain my equilibrium.
Added to that on Sunday I went on a training course for yet another part time job, bringing my job total to 5! This is a job doing network referrals, and means I have to find people who are prepared to talk to me for me to interest them in what I have to sell. Because it's network that means I have to start with people I know. And you'd think talking to my friends would be easy, but it is quite daunting. And I have to remind myself that it is the product they are not interested in and not me!
So the combination of these things is making me feel a bit wappy.
Thank goodness for walking that's all I can say cause I think that is what is between me and insanity at the moment.So to help hopefully soothe you here are a couple from today's walk, again in the Goyt Valley on a day when there was no air movement and the water was completely still.And the sense of peace and tranquility was awesome.
Hopefully as the days go on the chaos will recede and I can get my brain back and write the stuff I really enjoy.
I have to admit to a serious addiction and that's checking where people have come from to visit me... now I have loads of viewers in America and the UK, some in Africa and Australia and many European places..... but now I have been looked at by someone in Moscow and Shanghai, and a couple of the Arabic countries. I would so like to know who you all were.... do you feel you could tell me? But regardless of knowing who these people are isn't it amazing how the internet brings us the world.