Sunday, 28 September 2008
SUNDAY MORNING WORRIES
It's 7am on a Sunday morning, and I should be having a lie in, but I've been awake since 6 worrying.
What am I worrying about..... oh all the normal things everyone worries about, primarily money and my increasing lack of it. The worry that won't make any difference if I do it, or not. Those thoughts about what can I cut back on, how cheaply can I do Christmas. How can I eek out my money if my house doesn't sell quickly next year...... and on and on and on.
I hate getting into a state about something so futile to worry about. Cause worrying never helps me, sorting out a way forward helps, not ruminating and going down deeper into an out of control spiral of thinking.
So to move it on I'm not going to focus on it anymore, at least today. Instead I'm going to take a leave out of Mel's book and just for my own enjoyment list some of my favourite things..... You know I think Julie Andrews had a point when she sang that song!!!! The things that make Sunday bearable that I can write down and then hopefully go back to sleep for a while till a more civilised time to be awake on Sunday morning.
The rain, that is currently pouring down outside, and knowing that being in bed is the best place to hear it .
The sun, that might shine later, so as I can have my breakfast outside.
The birds, that have interrupted me with their song to take my mind away to listening to them.
The duvet,that is keeping me warm and toastie
The sons, that are sleeping in the rooms next to me. Knowing that later I will make a roast lunch for us all to share.
The computer, that allows me to communicate with my friends.
The phone, that I'll use later to speak to some more.
The mind, that allows me to change it and focus on being here right now, rather than is some useless fraught imaginary place.
The ability, to find light and peace in the moment. To be present, to touch my skin, to look at my hands, to hear the birdsong, to wriggle my toes.
The love, that I receive, and the love that I give, that's the bottom line.(pun intended!!!)
POST SCRIPT Why bother lying in your bed worrying, when someone can walk up your drive and damage your car. I have a wonderful black convertable, it's not that posh it's an MX5. Sometime between yesterday afternoon and this afternoon, some fucker has ripped off my wing mirror, smashed the arial off, written SEX on my boot lid, gouged out scratches all over the passenger wing and the drivers door.
I'm looking at a total respray if I can get the insurance company to pay,otherwise I'm stuck.